Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend's mom is talking shit about me to anyone who will listen, all because I refused to stay at her house and help her with a few chores she said she would pay me for. She keeps leaving out the part where I saw dozens of bed bugs not even 5 minutes after I got there. FML
Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML
Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML
Today, my significant other woke at 4:30 a.m. to me crying about a spider in the bathroom. I have an intense fear of spiders; he was super nice and took care of it for me. He even walked me out to my car. I started to calm down driving to work, but when I got there what do I see on the door handle but a spider. I'm still shaking. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
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Top comments
Starfire22 5
You might want to consider cleaning your room more often...
Mirm83 0
I need to stop reading the comments. Spiderwebs can be spun overnight. The timing of the bites indicates that the spider had newly moved in. Who looks under the bed often enough to catch spiderwebs instantly? Getting rid of the web doesn't get rid of the spider, unless it's in it. Five bites does not equal five spiders. They aren't like bees, who sting and then die.
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Comments (92)
NyronNosworthy 0
Venom, not poison. Poison is when you eat something, venom is when it's injected (ie from snake or spider bites) Just thought I'd let you know.
WhiteRose99 0
Am I the only one wondering why her boyfriend had one bite and had to be hospitalised yet she's had 5 and is fine and dandy and writing on FML?!! Just seems a wee bit strange to me how one bite kicked her boyfriends arse yet five have done nothing to her. Plus thats a very pissed off spider for it to bite you 5 times! Just a thought.
fegd 0
I'm pretty sure she's talking about the boyfriend who got "new" bites, and talking about the boyfriend's mom sarcastically.
hahaha822 0
. he should have never went to the hospital . This way ; he can save the world . Also ; dating spiderman seems pretty cool xD
V_S234 0
Eeeeeeeewwwwwww I got shivers reading this. I would be scarred forever if I found a spider web under my bed.
Cristaderzi 0
44 I dunno spiders have some kind of paranormal connection so Ive always have been scuuured to rid my abode of them... And besides their friendly towards me! I grew up around Black Widows and I actually felt safe. Safer than with humans! I dont know why just thats my experince!
Malinkrot 3
Dirty people make up the craziest excuses to be dirty...
FarSide 23
Well.... are you going to tell us? Or must we really guess?
DarkenSerenity13 4
wait, how is it tht you have 5 spider bites and you're in perfect health? Your bf had one and had to be rushed to the hospital? unless he had more bites? Or you just didnt feel the pain rite away? or he could of been allergic? or it wasnt the same spider?
LuVBuG573 0
#55 omg really. Maybe she was rushed to the hostpital. I thought it was pretty obvious. She never said she wasnt in perfect health after that. maybe because she didnt have enough room to explain that. XD
TRANscend08 0
Spiders can choose to secrete venom or not. Venom is hard to create and it hurts the spider too. She was food, he was a threat.
christinalouis3 0
This is my post. I found the thing under my bed and I have 5 new bites, yes. And my room is clean, its just next to the garage and we get tons of spiders in there. My mom is too much of a hippie to get our house sprayed. And I have no idea why my bites aren't as bad as his, I think his was just infected because he was messing with it. Also, I haven't gotten these other 5 bites in the same night, it was over the course of like a month, I just figured it was a lame little bug or a zit every time, but then when the actual doctor told my boyfriend that it was a spider it freaked me out. And I am terrified of spiders.
christinalouis3 0
Oh and I wrote it like that because I DID run out of room.