Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was using the restroom at school. What I thought was going to be just peeing turned into a humongous fart that echoed in the toilet bowl. Already embarrassed, I opened the door to leave. Two girls, who obviously heard, were giggling and saying, “It’s always the fat bitches.” FML
Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML
Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML
Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of the door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
Today, I found out my little sister took a picture of me taking a shit and showed it to her friends. FML
Today, my little sister thought I was making up I’m lactose intolerant, so she swapped my dairy-free milk with regular milk. I’m writing this from the toilet and I’ve been here for at least 20 minutes, with cramps and diarrhoea. She’s also complaining about the foul smell coming from the toilet. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
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Top comments
tylercoffman420 19
Time to kill a bitch or at least wipe your ass with her pillow.
apineapple 40
What a horrible person.
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Comments (77)
MyUsernameisEpic 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, shit. lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry
worldclassrager 41
But your comment sucked... Go sit in the corner and think about what you did...maybe we'll let you back in later...but you are better off leaving and not coming back
Morning_fml 22
Says the same guy who commented "maybe point him towards the casket?" at someone's FML whose grandpa was looking for his wife at her funeral.
taaywall 13
hahahahahahahah
jansdrs 19
#84 Was it really needed?
anonymous198913 26
That's a Taylor Swift reference!
apineapple 40
What a horrible person.
Superspiderbat 23
This comment is so simple yet so efficient
beeferjay 34
bromance much?
Tyrez 32
Start planning for some revenge OP. Any ideas people?
YodaMyNameIs 15
Laxatives are best for this situation.
R2Y2 22
And then remove the mechanism inside of the toilet tank, replacing the plug and pulley with a regular rubber stopper.
R2Y2 22
And then remove the mechanism inside of the toilet tank, replacing the plug and pulley with a regular rubber stopper.
R2Y2 22
And then remove the mechanism inside of the toilet tank, replacing the plug and pulley with a regular rubber stopper.
DaRito 25
Agreed, lots and lots of laxatives. And record the sound of her crying from it in the bathroom. Are there any other things to post anywhere that would embarrass her?
djTrikhster 4
sugar free gummy bears
DeltaDragonxx 20
slip laxitives into her foods. a little at a time, and slowly increase so she thinks she has a problem. the day before she goes to the doctor, spike it with a bunch of it. record it.
shinikageWolf 15
Wait until you know she's going out, like for a family function or anything like that. Slip some laxatives into her food before she leaves so she ends up with some bad diarrhea in public.
FarmerGirl420 11
I hate how people don't believe in privacy anymore... that's horrible. karma will get her.
pleasedie 22
**** karma. Get revenge
guss5441 18
Some people
tylercoffman420 19
Time to kill a bitch or at least wipe your ass with her pillow.
hannahrem 15
I would wipe my butt with her towel.
Megatron_Griffin 25
If he wipes it on her pillow she might get pink eye ;) so the pillow is a better idea
beeferjay 34
its a true fact that you mostly get diarrhea from watching animals relieve their bowels, or by watching goat ****
746278Ab 14
Some sister...
kloring1 15
This calls for revenge...
Makko 20
Next time you have to go, go in her bed.
pjsr 33
I think it should be your goal to make her #sorryreallysorry