Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
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Top comments
laurenlovesjb 20
Here's a hint. Life hardly ever works like it does in the movies.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
I guess you can say that this plan... *lowers monocle* Back-fired.
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Comments (100)
browneyedgirl52 13
We all can't be Ryan Gosling.
whatthefreshhell 15
But what if we could... That'd be one sexy world
rg350dx 29
I'm sure he farts too.
whatthefreshhell 15
But when he does it little roses actually blossom out his butt.
rg350dx 29
Roses have thorns on them...O.O oh god...
whatthefreshhell 15
No one ever said being pretty was easy or pain free!
kyu_Q 19
@#36 wish I could thumb that up twice
joefrazier 20
Well, that stinks *waits to be thumbed down*
ManInTheMachine 20
Stop! You're giving him exactly what he wants!
Redglare 8
I'm really conflicted on whether I should downthumb or not, because I know that'd mean he won. Damn it.
olpally 33
I buried him. Lol. He asked for it! :)
Fluffydemise 18
At least he didn't chokehold you, haha. A fart is pretty tolerable on the list of things a sleeping person may do to you when disturbed.
Redglare 8
As a person who'd punch anyone who tries to disturb my sleep in the throat with no regrets, I agree.
Pstraka6 20
Maybe he was trying to be cute too? And thank you, this made FML made my day ha
karlcolt45 19
d'aww
love_me_electric 20
"Today, my boyfriend farted. FML" Seriously? People fart, get over it.
whatthefreshhell 15
Surely you're joking, right? Only guys and elderly women do.
Fluffydemise 18
Many medical conditions result in the loss of ones colon or lower tract! Even the rectum. These people cannot fart. Also, colostomy bag users can't fart in the usual sense of the word, they build gas up in there bag that must be 'vented'.
onorexveritas 24
romantic thoughts rarely go as planned
chanellgymnast 17
That's cute.
Fluffydemise 18
Why were posts 18 and 19 removed? They weren't offensive, rude or anything. Someone just posting that everyone farts and a couple of responses to it? I know this post will be deleted too, haha, But to whoever has the itchy trigger finger, aren't you just removing people's non offensive, non instigatory opinions? That's a bit lame?
whatthefreshhell 15
I was wondering the same. Also the FML about being pepper sprayed was removed :/ lame
perdix 31
If he was asleep for any amount of time, he was probably getting some "morning breath" going. In that case, the fart was the lesser evil of smells.
whatthefreshhell 15
Your morning breath is worse than your gas? The ****.
perdix 31
#34, maybe I ought to go see a dentist. What do you think?
whatthefreshhell 15
Yeah, or a tooth brush and mouth wash.
perdix 31
#50, of course, my mouth is right next to my nose, and when I don't have my head up my ass, my nose is quite distant from the fart port.
ironichalibut 24
62- Well that explains your breath then! Maybe a tooth paste enema would be more effective in your case. Damn that's fresh!