Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML
Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML
Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn’t stop smacking and slurping his food. I told him to at least chew with his mouth closed. He looked me dead in the eye, with a mouth full of chewed up pizza, and said, “No.” FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
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Top comments
laurenlovesjb 20
Does he have potholders or oven mits? If he does and just doesn't use them, he's stupid. If he doesn't have them, he's still stupid. Who does that?
olpally 33
You can't fix stupid. My god... Don't breed with him.
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Comments (158)
laurenlovesjb 20
Does he have potholders or oven mits? If he does and just doesn't use them, he's stupid. If he doesn't have them, he's still stupid. Who does that?
Misswildsides 22
He will learn his lesson (hopefully) when he burns his hands badly.
HowAreYouToday 34
he just wanted to demonstrate his burning love.
gc327072 31
More importantly, how are his hands still there if he's done that his entire life?!
lionheart822 13
I'm more curious as to why the OP didn't try to stop him. If I saw someone doing that, I wouldn't just sit there and watch.
Kazenoe 24
31 - Based on the information available, I doubt he's been cooking his entire life...
amDes 11
obviously he doesn't cook often!
jerzjay 17
Hey, my number is 229-518-4432, hit me up when you get tired of that dumbass
frethelt 3
you never know.. maybe he just didnt know you were saposed to use potholders.. everyone grows up differently... my wife gets mad at me for just grabing stuff out of the oven, but im just used to it.. not so much now... she kinda baned me from the kitchen...
Ameel_fml 19
#44: But judging by his "I hate this part" comment, it seems he has done this more than once. Though I'm surprised he would have made that mistake more than once to begin with. Even if he doesn't know oven-mitts exist, why didn't he think to use SOMETHING to shield his hands? o.O
UnluckyGenius 21
Your hands eventually become immune to the heat!
evilplatypus 39
33 - I can't speak for OP, but I know I'd be too dumbstruck to say/do anything.
onorexveritas 24
25 - you're genius
MDTeddy 13
That isn't cooking dinner. I can make pasta. When I am hungry I cook and what I cook I usually don't share since I want to have leftovers unless I have a gf. I would share with her.
Ki11erC 18
Assuming pizza is just on shelf and not a baking tray its very simple to pull out without anything. Still doesn't make up for the implication of cooking dinner which one does assume is more than this.
byron17 26
cool story bro
euphoricness 28
Stupid, but brave!!
boofgall 16
I laughed pretty hard reading this. Not a lot of FMLs can do that!
Redoxx_fml 22
He's definitely a keeper
im_joking 11
He just wants to impress OP :)
sux4u121 10
Brave isn't the word I would use, perhaps foolish, or acompletefuckingdumbass would suffice.
9lashes 15
-81 yea but you have to admit took some balls to do it too
sailorzoe 14
Man stuff!! Yeah!
pinstriped31 7
In any story you can put "stupid" in the place of brave, just hope for the best!
djxerxes9000 18
It's not brave if there is no fear due to being a complete ******* megatard
countryrose92 23
208, Oh you just made me lol with your word choice. Bravo.
zomgbies 17
Stupidity and "having the balls" to do something completely idiotic are one in the same.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
You mean you aren't suppose to pull out pizza that way? Damn, I've been doing it wrong this whole time.
frethelt 3
me to... lol.. my wife yells at me every time.. but id rather just grab it then try to find out were she put the pot holder...
Redglare 8
The fact you seem serious worries me, 64.
nnnope 26
64: you'd rather get second-degree burns than ask your wife a simple question...?
thatpeachyperson 12
I would just like to take this opportunity to admire #127's ear.
poopsi 19
That is indeed quite the fancy ear you've got there, 127..
Llamacod 11
Have you ever met 64's wife? I think if you did you would understand why he doesn't want to ask her.
wjh100 13
I personally don't use oven mitts, but that's because it messes up the toppings. I use this wonderful thing called a spatula.
sniken 14
I'm doing it wrong too then! Just grab the crust and pull it out over on a plate! No screaming or burns involved though, just quicker and more convenient then mitts.
olpally 33
You can't fix stupid. My god... Don't breed with him.
TwiztedYuri 9
I hope she's not an animal cause I'm pretty sure no matter how stupid humans are they still reproduce unless they're a science experiment.
zero4life123 7
Why hasn't natural selection kick in yet?
Madrias 36
@45: Warning labels. Only reason natural selection doesn't work.
amDes 11
He hasn't stuck his head in the oven yet. In rime my friend. In time.
SaintT 15
I gave you an upvote because it is clear what you meant and it made me chuckle. That being said, *time.
gc327072 31
85, that's so obviously a typo that it just goes without saying.
MattRoseen 12
It's tried...still in the process.
VeganVampyre 27
Because we killed natural selection by idiot-proofing EVERYTHING :/
SneezyC 15
Obviously not, have you read the FML.....
Lothem 4
If he goes through that to cook you dinner, who knows what else he would do for you? Sounds like a keeper.
ThatOneDrummer 8
Because putting a frozen pizza in the oven is so hard?
smiliecat 13
121- I think Lothem meant the part where OPs boyfriend took the pizza out barehanded, not putting it in.
Tigerblossom 19
No. It's because he doesn't use oven mitts and still wants to make her food even though he knows it'll hurt. Sounds like a good guy. He's just not the smartest.
chesoes 8
i totally agree
Zimmington 21
Yeah, Loyal BUT dumb as a brick
Rababco 29
@132 He's got a big heart, just very little brains. XD
blankjack 6
Not the smartest guy ever, but he might have other assets :)
EmilyKay222 4
Like a large organ
Llamacod 11
Obviously not his brain.
cman1322 9
How would large lungs benefit his lover?
trivel64 16
I'm pretty sure he meant a big liver. Those are pretty handy, man, just saying.
kyu_Q 19
Large lungs mean more stamina.....and was probably developed from all that screaming
thatfrenchguy 8
That's the manly way of cooking. I see nothing wrong here
MrSassypants 34
#20 Women can't cook like men. Get back in the..... ummm.....
B_CeouL 12
How about we igNoor that comment #20
B_CeouL 12
How about we igNoor that #20
Llamacod 11
How bout we make the same comment twice.
Harmell 7
C-c-c-c-combo breaker!
trivel64 16
how about you all igShut the **** up
VeganVampyre 27
40- living room? If the man is cooking, stands to reason the woman should be watching sports and drinking beer, right?
ekb777 13
By now he probably doesn't have any fingerprints anymore!
kemic 7
Hey, that's a great plan. Now they'll never catch me after a jewel heist!
trivel64 16
I misread that as Jew heist.
jem970 19
... I have to say I am nearly speechless... Teach him what to do in the kitchen OP, and consider not having children with him.
RealTalk0 7
What a smart man. What an inspiring feat.