Today, my boyfriend drove to my house to break up with me. He only did so after I'd vacuumed the whole house to compensate for his cat allergies. I thought he was just coming to dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house, I heard him shout, "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, get back here!" He was talking to his cat who'd run out the door behind me. FML
Oh, the humanity
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML
Alexa, play "A Man Needs a Maid" by Neil Young
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend after concluding we're not compatible at all. He said he knew it all along, but he thought I was "good for all the house stuff." FML
Safe drive home
Today, my boyfriend asked me to text him when I got home after driving 40 miles in bad weather from his house back to mine. When I did, he broke up with me. FML
Off the top of my head…
Today, my boyfriend called and said he was stopping by to talk. I didn't understand why he would stop by, so I asked if he was going to break up with me, he said no. Half an hour later, he knocked on my door to break up with me. FML
The GOAT
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Top comments
DrNuggetcase 3
That sucks, but at least your house is clean!
Roevera 14
atleast he didn't just text a break up. but still. shouldn't have made you vacuum..
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Comments (123)
eyecon502 13
To hell with the dick. Now find a healthier one! ;)
yeongji 31
If he forgets something at your house and decides to come by someday in the near future to pick it up, make sure that your house is not vacuumed, even if you have to lie about it.
Sylvasa 15
I'm sure his intention was to talk to you about it normally. It's a bit hard to do so when your nose is running and you can barely see. I think it's nice of him that he came over to talk to you in person about it, but I'm sorry you didn't end up together. Tip: find a guy that's crazy about cats ;)
stevenmx86 8
You'd have complained if he broke up over the phone or by text too... Choose your battles... Besides you only "vacuumed your whole house" which is something you should be doing anyway for basic cleanliness...
Zodiac666 0
You should vacuum anyways, slob.
3peat_247 0
what a douche!!!
modernbenoni 8
How is he at all a douche? He broke up with his girlfriend, that does not make him a bad person.
MissMeanie 5
Throw the cat at him.
shovelface1990 4
Good cure for cats is the largest caliber firearm you own. More more vermin in your home. No more problems.
R4B1D_SQU1R3L 0
Maybe with the next one go lighter on the cleaning and heavier on the blowing.
lolatyofail 0
Well atleast he did it in person and not through text or call