Today, my boyfriend decided he would do his job while I did my "job" on top of him. He whips out his Blackberry and completely ignores me to send e-mails to co-workers reminding them about the 10 a.m. meeting scheduled for the next morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML
Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend called work because he is sick. Then he called me four times while I was working, to complain that I was working, and then he got mad when I told him I was sick and worked a double shift two days in a row, because apparently that's "insensitive" of me. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick me up from work. We work at the same place. FML
Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
suppressed08 2
lol! this man can multitask. normal mortals would be impressed
ArtIsResistance7 1
Lol at #1. 2 fails. Pfft, yeaaah right. That's the excuse he uses to take pictures of you for his work buddies.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
ttyl99 0
Where u under his desk yummy
terranada 3
uh...maybe u jus weren't tht good...?? o.O
Origomali 0
if he makes over $100,000 a year, stfu and bounce on it!
buggybeauty 0
if you kept going you have no reason to complain. stupid weak women of fml!
jennniferlea 4
That would have been the very last time he got the "job". And i would have taken the phone and took pics of his dumbass and emailed them to his meeting buddies.
mpclaw 3
and??????
mrsdoctor10 4
wow. just jump off the dick and take care of yourself. if you're not as horrible as this post makes you seem, he will be begging for it within a week. otherwise, fyl.
mrsdoctor10 4
wow. just jump off the dick and take care of yourself. if you're not as horrible as this post makes you seem, he will be begging for it within a week. otherwise, fyl.
partygirl14 0
you must be bad or he is a jack ass
westsidewhite 0
maybe he did it to distract himself from u so it would improve his performance? :D