Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML
Today, after asking my boyfriend multiple times to be more kind and romantic, he looked at me lovingly and said, "You know, you look pretty sometimes." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said, "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML
Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML
Today, my boyfriend compared me to an unattractive actress. When I said it was sort of messed up to say that to me since she's not pretty, he said, "She's not as bad as you." FML
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Top comments
Psychicgirl17 18
What a dick. Dump his ass
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
You mean your ex-boyfriend?
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Comments (129)
deathskittlez 6
Dump. Him. Now.
seahawksfan900 11
That's the funniest shit I've read all day
littlestnicole 12
Come on, you can do better. Find someone who knows you're beautiful and is genuine in saying it. :)
LyricaSilvan 30
That's when you say "oh, really? Well that's also how you're getting dumped."