Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend has spent weeks trying to get me to cancel my breast reduction surgery, for selfish reasons obviously, even though he knows how bad my spinal problems are getting. I don’t want a hunched back in my thirties, but all he cares about is his sex life. FML
Today, I found out that I need a hysterectomy. When I told my boyfriend of 2 years, he broke up with me, because he didn't have time to "coddle my feelings". FML
Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML
Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted him to be a little more masculine and dominant in the bedroom. He broke up with me because I'm not "feminist enough". FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML
Today, my doctor told me I should consider a breast reduction. I'm a man. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pwn17 25
I guess he isn't looking out for your breast interests.
DocBastard 40
Good riddance. Leave the idiot be. You're much better off without ... Wait, REDUCTION?? Why would you do such a thing? WHY? NOOOOOO!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (242)
hazardmuffin 21
Well, better to find out he's a shallow asshole sooner rather than later, right? Good luck with your surgery, OP! And best of luck to you and any future, not so douchey boyfriend :)
RamiUSMC 9
if you read another fml about breastmilk you'll get this lol
QueenOrangeSoda 21
Why do folks cry out at small breast jokes, but have no issues over small penis jokes? In my opinion, neither is okay. They're both hurtful to groups of people.
ViviMage 40
You need to have a body that is good for you, in proportion to you. Big breasts can cause back pain, hard to clean, heat rash, and generally more expensive bras to support. Your guy should love you for you. Your soul, personality, smile, not boobies. And you'll still have boobies for fun!
Sweetpea22 14
Heat rash is the worst. I am trying to get rid of it and it hurts a lot
marvalisa 8
Everyone loves boobies!!! BOOBIES!
fertilegod 3
you are selfish. don't play God.
Sweetpea22 14
What a shallow asshole. I hate men that only date women because they have big breasts. I need my breasts reduced and if my boyfriend broke up with me because of it, I would move on and find someone who likes me because of my personality
WaywardDaughter 26
^ thanks for clearing that up. jk
RabecaNightmare 2
I know them feels OP. My boobs are a 40G cup. I probably should get reduction, but I just love my boobs so much,! XD Breast luck with your titty healing process though! ;)
Klaves66 2
That's like a guy saying he's going to get penis shortening surgery
Thorzix 23
No, it's no at all.
Sweetpea22 14
Um...You try having severe back pain and severe neck pain every day because of large breasts. Until you experience the struggle we endure, then kindly shut the **** up
RedPillSucks 33
Well, having a 14" wang that causes women to run screaming in terror and always having a bulge in your pants even when you're not hard, and having people stare is no great bundle of fun either. Of course I wouldn't know anything about that, just as I don't know anything about having large breasts.
Sweetpea22 14
Honey, no man has a 14 inch penis. Your whole "argument" is invalid
davincidasecond 24
Believe it or not, there does exist a man who has a 9 inch penis, flaccid. Needless to say, it's caused him problems.
Zinging 8
One of my guy friends has a 11inch penis...
RedPillSucks 33
@137 So you've measured every man on the planet? Did you miss the part where I said "I wouldn't know anything about that"? Obviously it was a tongue-in-cheek joke comment.