Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when he asked if it was okay to finish on my back. Not only did he do that but he also got it on my neck, the side of my face, and my hair which I'd just gotten done at the salon for almost $200 and can't wash for 2 days. FML.
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
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Top comments
Liphaem5 22
Surely "I've got cum in my hair" negates the instruction to not wash your hair? Is $200 really worth leaving, and I emphasize this point, /dry cum/ in your hair? (The /dry cum/ was supposed to be in italics but I'm not sure if it's going to work)
rodfergie 18
Is your boyfriend a painter?
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Comments (31)
rodfergie 18
Is your boyfriend a painter?
fjvitt 14
I guess he was feeling spunky
blahblabbity 19
dry cleaning
Liphaem5 22
Surely "I've got cum in my hair" negates the instruction to not wash your hair? Is $200 really worth leaving, and I emphasize this point, /dry cum/ in your hair? (The /dry cum/ was supposed to be in italics but I'm not sure if it's going to work)
xxmirandapandaxx 14
Maybe I’m poor but 200$ on my hair is 100% worth not ruining it even if it’s cum in my hair. It’s not even just the money. The time alone you put into that hair appointment would make it worth it no matter how gross.
Virids 13
$200 on my hair is 100% not worth it, christ. Highest I ever pay for my barber is €25 (~ $28,50) to do both my beard and hair.
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
Agreed- the most I spend on my hair appointments is $60 and that's because my stylist is damn good at her job. I once spend $170 on a color correction and I haven't spent that kind of money on my hair since (I ended up growing my natural color anyway!)
AtomicLondon 8
Based on the fact that OP can't wash it for two days, she probably got her hair either chemically straightened or got a perm. Both are a really freaking long process (hence the hefty price tag). Damn straight I'd find a way to deal with it LoL
raven_of_azarath 35
@Virids that’s cuz you’re a guy. Women’s haircuts cost a lot more.
Michael Branchfield 5
that's why you only allow him to finish inside
VanTufty 13
Swallowing saves all the hassle, no kids, reduces spunk hair gel, reduces stains etc etc
julfunky 29
Feel free to swallow your cum then.
TumblrweedPasses 11
Are you, by any chance, dating a supersoaker?? 200 on hair Cum on, that's a lot .... Ok I'm done
raven_of_azarath 35
200 on hair is actually pretty average for a girl.
weaboo 12
Raven please reread what he wrote
tounces7 28
Perhaps have sex more often. Haven't you watched "Scary Movie"?
saffy66 34
My fiancé always jokes, do what you want but just don’t get it in my hair. Silly of you to agree. Since when have men been known for the accuracy of their aim when directing fluid from their man bits? Every woman who’s ever cleaned a toilet after a man used it, should know this!
gar2014 23
take it as a compliment and move on !