Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when he asked if it was okay to finish on my back. Not only did he do that but he also got it on my neck, the side of my face, and my hair which I'd just gotten done at the salon for almost $200 and can't wash for 2 days. FML.
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
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Top comments
Liphaem5 22
Surely "I've got cum in my hair" negates the instruction to not wash your hair? Is $200 really worth leaving, and I emphasize this point, /dry cum/ in your hair? (The /dry cum/ was supposed to be in italics but I'm not sure if it's going to work)
rodfergie 18
Is your boyfriend a painter?
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Comments (31)
anayanci1 6
Would anyone here leave semen in your hair for two days for $200?
julfunky 29
Yes. Yes, I would.
seasonedtoast 19
Yep
weaboo 12
It might be because I’m Jewish but I would never spend 200 on my hair (long hair guy)
Agent JPN 9
Can't wash your hair for 2 days... or don't want to wash your hair for two days. Very different.
jkjorn 18
Is your name Mary? Because there's something about you..
bobsanction 18
Who the hell pays $200 to get their hair done?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
So many things wrong here. First, you spent $200 getting your hair done and it can't even be washed for two days (if I don't wash my hair every day, it gets oily and gross and I get cranky). Second, you let your boyfriend cum on your back (or anywhere on your body, really). And third, in allowing him to do that (or did you tell him no and he did it anyway? If that's the case, you have a whole other set of problems), of course there's always a chance it could shoot other than the intended target. PEW PEW!
mikbrooke 25
washing your hair daily is bad for it. should be 1-2 times a week, maybe 3 times depending on lifestyle.
julfunky 29
There’s nothing wrong with someone who is ok with letting their boyfriend finish anywhere.