Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, my husband and I were having sex. It was stormy outside, and when lightning flashed through the window, he screamed like a little girl and scrambled off the bed. FML
Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We kept the lights on for a change and he asked me, "Babe, what's that on your tummy?" They're my stretch marks. Sex and body confidence ruined. FML
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Top comments
daysgoby902 6
it would have been awesome if you were on drugs
559NVUS 3
Well then you should've stopped clapping your hands from all the excitement, oh wait...Nice :)
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Comments (113)
daysgoby902 6
it would have been awesome if you were on drugs
boofgall 16
With some skrillex!
zfrt 3
Skrillex is so ******* gay. Only 12 year old fags who think they're badass listen to him. Get all the cum out of your ears and try to listen to it, you'll want to claw your eyes out.
boofgall 16
.
leadman1989 16
5 -You just keep getting better and better bs you need more in your description! First of the year (equinox) seems like it would be awesome to **** to! Lol
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Aw come on guys, brostep? I'd rather **** to polka. Anyone wanna join?
gntfmlingnow 12
Dubstep > Polka
HaloReachIsCool 6
Mr. Miagi say: Clap on, now clap off. Goood job daniel san.
goebsy 8
Fap on! Fap off!
RacerX1695 1
And here I thought that once the clap was on, it doesn't go off, if you get what I'm saying…
ShroomsOnAcid 17
But brostep isn't dubstep, so that's a bit irrelevant.
AMagicalLeoplura 0
doesnt matter, had sex
fromthesuck 8
Yeah my mood is often ruined by the clap as well
WhoIsThe 7
Or if you had epilepsy...
FMMFL1992 3
Was it a butt clap?
CalebEatsZombies 2
23 *cough*not the American average by asking Alexandria*cough*
that_band_nerd 22
It takes the video "Clapping with No Hands" to a whole new level.
8313girl 28
Yeah I can only imagine how rough and deep their clapping and smacking had to be. If the guy is gonna be taking girls to pound town like that then he doesn't need the clapper.
workoutfreak 4
Lmfao nuffsaid
DynamicDave 11
"I've got the clap and I'm giving it to you!"
LADiiL0KA24 11
Im dyin too!! N its definitely that bitch's fault cuz she couldve unplugged it clapper.... Idk y ppl disliked ur comment workoutfreak i guess that happened to those 15 ppl who didnt like ur comment :)
TurdTickler4eva 0
You cant unplug the CLAP
Justforlolz 14
54- I lost a couple of IQ points when I read your comment.
Llama_Face89 34
54- no it was thumbed down because it didn't actually say anything. Intelligently at least.
hawaiianfire 0
Well most of the first comments say dumb shit, just so that they can be the first to comment. It's the responses that wind up being the clever stuff. It's down voted because of the abbreviations.
FMLaddict11 6
Please learn to use English. I agree with #77
indianguyinuk 12
get a room....or in this case get better one
effedml 5
They already have the best room. They just don't know what to do with it...the newbies.
YdoIhaveAchode 4
I read an FML like this one a while ago.. Fake?
Xxjenn 0
Lol. My brother just got a clap on light. That would be awkward if I know you.
Alwayspullout 7
You don't live in New York, do you?
Xxjenn 0
I do. Lol. In patchogue.
KatieMarieL 1
I live in Patchogue....0.o
pwincessa23 1
Cccccoooooommmmmbbbbbbbboooooooo BREAKER!!!!
Xxjenn 0
Really? Lol
KatieMarieL 1
Lol yeahh xD
Xxjenn 0
You go to patmed?
KatieMarieL 1
Yupp!! Freshie-.-
Xxjenn 0
Lol. That's cool. :p
KatieMarieL 1
Not really-.-
Xxjenn 0
Lol. Sorry. :p
leadman1989 16
"Clap on clap off THE CLAPPER" Look on the bright side you don't have the clap!
Sukismama 2
Lol I was about to post practically the same comment, ya best me to it!
storywriter 5
Lol, i loved that film :D
chane1100 6
33- its not a "film" -.-
559NVUS 3
Well then you should've stopped clapping your hands from all the excitement, oh wait...Nice :)
josejimenez 0
Virgin
leadman1989 16
Tell your boyfriend to put a little "LESS" back into it. Problem solved.
DropBearHunter 8
Or take the lightbulb out....
leadman1989 16
Who says they wanted the lights out? Some people don't **** in the dark. ;p
jizzwold 21
They could just go outside and **** under the street light
Freeze_fml 17
Relocating is such a bitch.
YayFlameWarz 9
That must be awfully annoying while he's masterbating.
DropBearHunter 8
Because the OP's bf likes to clap while masturbating???
ShyAnn29 15
Maybe he likes to clap his penis, like giving it a high five while masturbating
DropBearHunter 8
Here i was thinking i was the only one!