Today, I took my cat to the vet for an x-ray. They found three dollar coins in his stomach. The surgery to remove them is $600. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was nervous about taking my cat to the vet for a UTI, because money’s a little tight. Turns out the antibiotics weren’t that expensive, but he wants at least $1,000 for dental surgery she apparently “needs.” FML
Today, I dropped $1600 at the emergency vet because I thought my 14 year-old cat was constipated or obstructed. He was neither. He just had lots of gas in his intestines. I paid $1600 to find out my cat needed to fart. FML
Today, I had to put my cat to sleep after she was in an accident. While I was crying hysterically, the vet asked me for $230. FML
Today, I'm sitting at the vet's office while they run expensive tests on my cat. This is to make sure he doesn't have a bowel obstruction from eating the condom that my partner and I used last night. FML
Today, after seeing my cat struggle to use the litterbox and produce nothing for two days, I caved and took him to the emergency vet, fearing a UTI. It wasn't. $200 and 2 Lyft rides later, he's stoned out of his mind and peeing just fine. FML
Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML
Today, I paid $325 to have the vet tell me that my 19-year-old cat ISN'T dying, she just had anxiety shits because we were gone on vacation for so long. FML
Today, my cat was hit by a car. I took it to the vet expecting the worst but they told me that she’d be fine. I was so happy I didn't even mind paying the $50 bill. The next morning my cat was dead. Having her put down humanely would have cost $45, I paid $5 extra to have her die in my kitchen. FML
Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
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Top comments
DanGleesak 11
Actually it cost $597.
every1luvsboners 11
Give the cat two more dollar coins and it should shit out a five dollar bill.
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Comments (280)
ceilingfans 1
Congratulations you just made 3 dollars
ieatunicorn4fun 7
Congratulations, you just made $-597
ceilingfans 1
Well when you look at it that way...
NomOnShroomz 14
...it makes sense. Please finish your comment next time, I won't always be there for you.
Randuhh_17 4
Why do people say (no ****) after saying something that sounds completely ****?...or at that, your statement really didn't sound that ****-ish...
mrosew442 10
118- yeah, why is it that someone can't say something like "I'm there for you" without assuming that every person on the Internet is a superficial jerk?
ShakeMeDown 12
I want you. (Complete ****)
TheWindowLicker 13
I want you too (half ****)
GVirdi 11
175 Did u pay the cat 3 dollars for ur filthy needs?!? o:
kashmanwiggar 10
118-Have you ever listened to the song 'No ****' by The Lonely Island? You should, it explains everything.
DynamicDave 11
Don't people realize when they say "no ****" it suddenly sounds twice as gay?
DrDilllonReese 12
Saying no **** clarifies things for the homophobic people. That way they don't blow something done completely without gay intentions out of proportion. Basically it's for for dumb homophobes.
jerome1995 4
Irony...
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
I saw what u tried there but coins aren't made out of iron they are made out of copper and I think mercury
Beebow_fml 5
Mercury? Wouldn't it be nickel?
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Beebow- thank u!! I thought it was nickel but I couldn't put my tongue on it lol u get a thumbs up (;
rarrar321 3
Actually, it's called an instant rebate.
FreshlyCut 0
How is this irony? Do you just say irony for everything?
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
161- he thought coins were made out of iron and in the fml it said she had to pay for the surgery so he used "irony"
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
161- he thought coins were made out of iron and in the fml it said she had to pay for the surgery so he used "irony"
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
161- he thought coins were made out of iron and in the fml it said she had to pay for the surgery so he used "irony"
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Sorry for triple post fml failed on me
jerome1995 4
No I didn't, I just thought it was quite ironic.
LinaLyssic 12
In that case you should look up the word ironic right now.
zukinihudini 0
Screw piggy banks you have a real life cat bank
dales_mommy 0
atleast your cat will be ok
drlove78843 6
No shit lol
NomOnShroomz 14
Actually OP didn't say anything about that, hell, they could just be doing the surgery to get the 3 bucks... although that wouldnt make much sence...
TheWindowLicker 13
62, don't you mean CENTS? Anyone? Noone...? ..****...
NuTrees 9
We gotta love our fur friends
brown4lifejot 1
Do it for the cat
zowieandzander77 1
Read the post again... "three DOLLAR coins"
MeagsMod 14
No he is right it is 3 bucks. Dollar coins silly! ****** you are! =p
DanGleesak 11
Actually it cost $597.
grahambertus 11
Nope. $603 before deduction.
upyourzlolz 11
597... Plus tax.
thisisafunnyname 12
Actually probably still $600 because the coins were probably OP's coins in the first place. So OP lost $3 before and now got it back.
jennyc246 8
I'm not from the US, but don't you have dollar notes?
VeganVampyre 27
Maybe OP just came back from a trip to Canada, and had some loonies lying on a table or something?
MeagsMod 14
Back in like 2000, not sure the correct year we re-released a gold dollar coin with a Native American woman on it. I may be wrong on the Native part. But I do know they did release the coin. Could trade a regular dollar at any bank for them.
kaamink3u 2
Lol only 597 to go
javierrrrm 12
No shit
natashax21 5
Yes shit.
Teehee2 0
ya dipshit
every1luvsboners 11
Give the cat two more dollar coins and it should shit out a five dollar bill.
draken389 1
How do you figure...
every1luvsboners 11
Something about the digestive system of a cat is similar to a Coinstar machine. You put your spare change in and dollar bills fly out of their arse, or something, blah, blah, blah.
FreshlyCut 0
Lame ^^^ try some better material. Also thumbs don't mean shit. :|
obamathellama 0
Uh, yeah they do, which is why funny people get thumbs up and idiots like you get thumbs down.
bjr1208 3
No it's not. It's $597. Thank your cat.
NomOnShroomz 14
Hate to point out that someone beat you to it.
HeavyScout 0
Also hate to point it out, but they posted at the exact same time.
zebraface123 6
If it wasn't for the cat swallowing the coins, it wouldn't be costing op any money. Therefore they should not thank the cat.
Capt_Oblivious 10
$597 to turn $3 profit? You're doing it wrong.
PlasticSand 6
You mean $600 for a $3 profit?
Marcella1016 32
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
MexicanTroll 0
At least you got the three dollars back
oreobunbun 3
Says the Mexican troll...
jim69_fml 0
Actually, for the op to profit from this, the cat would have to eat 600 more coins. Edit: This was meant for the comment below.. Don't know why it posted here.
ColorfulSmiles 7
If you really love your cat, the money you spent for the kitty is not useless. This mustn't be an FML.