Narcissism

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

Gamers rise up

Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

Turn off

Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

Automaton

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

Repetition

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

In the mood

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except that when he did, he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML