Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a "real n**ga" and "getting bitches and hoes 24/7." My brother had changed it as a prank. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "LMAO" out loud at his friend's joke. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I was to have an important phone interview for a job. I got a call and everything went perfectly, and they said I was hired. Later, I found out that one of my "friends" had gotten one of his buddies to prank call me and make sure the line was engaged when the real interviewer called. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom after a terrible job interview. My interviewer walked in with another guy, talking about my interview, saying he was obviously going to hire the other guy because my odd-sounding name was too hard to pronounce, yet alone spell in multiple emails. FML
Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML
Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML
Today, my job interview got canceled. I later found out it's because my sister got the brilliant idea to go talk to the manager to "advocate" for me, and they thought I put her up to it. FML
Today, I went to my first job interview. I didn't think I was doing too badly, until the interviewer said, "Wait a second, you're in high school?" I explained that the guy who'd called me had said that this wouldn't be a problem. I then watched as my interviewer left his desk to "deal" with him. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
You, my friend, are inclined to beat the absolute shit out of him. Job interviews are not to played with. IT'S A MONEY MAKING OPPORTUNITY. Please sir, treat yourself to giving your little **** brother a well deserved old fashioned ass whupping.
mike3775 39
I agree with the sentiment, but OP also shares in the blame for not double checking his resume as well.
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Comments (5)
cuz803 46
You, my friend, are inclined to beat the absolute shit out of him. Job interviews are not to played with. IT'S A MONEY MAKING OPPORTUNITY. Please sir, treat yourself to giving your little **** brother a well deserved old fashioned ass whupping.
mike3775 39
I agree with the sentiment, but OP also shares in the blame for not double checking his resume as well.
mccuish 25
Violence is never the answer, but your brother deserves a beating for ruining your chance to work
DarkAngelsBlade 25
I'd kill him. Straight up unalive that bitch.
Joseph Elvin Legg 7
did you not proofread it before sending or printing?