Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML
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Top comments
lolzRaptor 1
Totally **** your life, out of everything on this website of misfortunes, unpleasant events and encounters, your life is the most ****** up. You must be extremely miserable, I feel deeply sorry that you had sexual intercourse various times, and then ended up having a smell of chicken linger around you. /sarcasm
onlysoph 0
I am officially over these kinds of FML's. Move on people
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Comments (148)
Fett 0
get your ass up and make him a sandwich. WTF is the problem?
simcraft 0
hahahahaahhahahahaha, beautiful
Ridyn 0
I always deny these kinds of FMLS's what stupid mod let this one in?!
XRiseToFallAgain 0
lolwut
CFR 0
I can't even think of anything to say...lol sorry xD
screwtaylor 0
1) Thank goodness you didn't smell like fish. 2) Maybe the neighbors were cookin' chicken and he got hungry. Duhhhh
OMGitsKaleyxo 0
how is this an fml. its just u, telling the story of why ur boyfriend is random. random is good. are u confused?
rakkan56 0
everyone email the FML staff about adding that "not worthy to be an FML" button . im serious ! xD
777_alex_777 0
mhhhmmm... ..chicken.....
misslady3 0
hahahahhaahahaha this sounds like something my boyfriend would do..... but i would have just laughed at him
magiczipperman 0
hahahahhahahah. he was probably just hungry