Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rgri 11
Try to convince him to wear a condom everytime he takes a nap, just to be safe.
ipierson 5
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (127)
carelessxdanger 9
you need a more mature, less idiotic boyfriend.
bazookajoey 27
Your boyfriend is an idiot
kingkevin2001 9
I would burn your clothes. lol jk but I wouldn't wear them in public. Ever.
Fmlsea 28
how old is he 5 ?
Fmlsea 28
how old is he 5? his parents didnt do a good job teaching him.
Rainhawk94 27
Your mom is 5
jenlazpach 7
The real question here is, how old are you because if he thinks that he can't be old enough to have a girlfriend.
awilliams44 9
Did it....?
doggy1230 5
Haha, the fear of forced child support brings unimaginable paranoia....
Axel5238 29
I'd be a little more than worried if he's that dumb. You might want to reconsider dating him.
katertott 44
Reminds me of how my bf overreacts to similar situations. -______-
kittylevin 8
Everyone is being so critical, but I'm guessing this was one of the things where you wake up suddenly and it seems like your dream is still happening. So you're like, "I STILL HAVE TO DELIVER THE MARSHMALLOWS" or in this case "I JUST GOT MY GIRLFRIEND PREGNANT OH GOD" and it takes a few minutes to realize that was a dream, and in reality it's all okay.
katties 27
I agree. My sister once fell asleep in the day and woke up in the evening. She thought she had slept for 24 hours and no one woke her and was panicking when she woke up. Of course she knows that that's actually impossible, but she seemed to still be partly in dream land the first few minutes after she woke up. I understand that the guy was freaked out if he had one of those dreams. Dreams can be very illogical and not everybody are aware about when they're dreaming.
tman1985 9
how is that impossible? i've slept 18 hours once, not too far off
katties 27
I have slept for 23 hours when I was sick. My sister knows that SHE doesn't usually sleep that much and there's no reason she suddenly would.