Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
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Top comments
rgri 11
Try to convince him to wear a condom everytime he takes a nap, just to be safe.
ipierson 5
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
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Comments (127)
ZY1431 24
oh man how old is he?
Curlytwirly22 17
Tell him that you guys are done cuz he duuuuumb
flashback_fml 14
Dumbass
quackImapenguin 16
It's cute that he's being concerned for her. And yeah, he was probably disoriented because he just woke up.
DocBastard 40
Wow, 68 comments so far and no one has pointed out the grammar error yet? I'm disappointed in every one of you. No gold stars for you. *swum
glabberfasted 16
Swam is correct...
an3ph 20
There's a reason these are called "boy" friends. Do yourself a favor and find yourself a man.
Shandra78 9
Yeah, I've heard sex education is pretty limited in the south.
timss4 19
You should've gone crazy baby mama on him, you'll never get a chance like that again lol
imbedderdenu 23
sounds like a keeper
worldclassrager 41
That's a bit out there...and I can't really imagine how that might have been for you to explain to him OP...