Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
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Top comments
rgri 11
Try to convince him to wear a condom everytime he takes a nap, just to be safe.
ipierson 5
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
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Comments (127)
anthony99 14
Mazel tov!
zombiecrayon173 9
1. Break up with him 2. Get an abortion 3. That is technically rape
DaMann360 19
You guys keep railing on OPs boyfriend. Did it ever cross your mind that maybe she gets hurt everytime you insult her boyfriend? Be nice to the poor guy.
DASboot1983 6
can we say VIRGIN! also, we must revoke his man card.
angel121011 2
My boyfriend would do the same thing believe it or not
malatang 6
He didn't make love with you before?
malatang 6
sperm can't survive in cold situation.don't be nervious
VoodooPriestess 16
Was he still half asleep when he woke up?
alexanx 1
It is possible for a girl to get pregnant with out sex as long is she is aroused and the sperm is close enough. If you didn't know that you should go back to school.
Shade1982 21
'close enough' doesn't include several layers of clothing, please... If you tried to sound intelligent you failed. This only sounds condescending...
xs4u 13
please dont have kids with this retard