Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone had pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor, and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML
Today, I was desperate for the toilet when I got stopped by our CEO for a chat about a project I made a ton of profit on. I was so close to disaster that when she pulled me in for a hug I wasn’t expecting, it happened. Diarrhoea down my legs and shoes. I practically made the CEO vomit. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Kayokku 1
Good work on those reports today, Johnso-- HNNNGGGGGGGGGG
Cad6 24
Run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the liquidshit man!
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Comments (100)
fenixtorador1 11
75 actually seems pretty cute, not gonna lie
obiwankendrobi 2
Well that had to be awkward...
ZachTheMan 0
LOL
Hts777 4
At least you didn't have to shit alone!
OfficeNinja 5
You need to find a safe harbor. A bathroom somewhere that NOBODY, or very few people, use. Every building has a safe harbor, you just have to find it. Don't expect help finding it - a pirate never tells you where his treasure is. Make that your work assignment for the day. PS - I work at a major international airport that saw more than 38 million people last year. I know of 4 safe harbors, two of which are in public areas, one is behind an "authorized people only" sign, and one behind a locked door.
Melinie 7
You totally could have had a fart competition like on Family Guy!
venomousddog 19
OH MY..... I would so be the referee
BobbieH 19
FYL! I've never understood where the courtesy went and how having a conversation in the bathroom is acceptable behavior.
bleedwell 7
Oh, what a lovely conversation that must have been.
PhishloverA 14
Sometimes it's good to have someone talk to you while crapping. It takes your mind off of it
JustHayden 5
Been there and done that.