Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone had pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor, and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML
Today, I was desperate for the toilet when I got stopped by our CEO for a chat about a project I made a ton of profit on. I was so close to disaster that when she pulled me in for a hug I wasn’t expecting, it happened. Diarrhoea down my legs and shoes. I practically made the CEO vomit. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Kayokku 1
Good work on those reports today, Johnso-- HNNNGGGGGGGGGG
Cad6 24
Run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the liquidshit man!
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Comments (100)
RyanMacVey 17
Could all these shit jokes be any "crapper"? :P
Cad6 24
^I'd say yours was the crappiest.
I_heart_sex 1
Crappier??
worster 0
srsly cuz ur statement didnt make much sense!
zachherbert 10
Seriously* Because * Your*.... Have a nice day.
ninjuh_wingman 29
You must have some interesting shoes.
TrippingOnAcid 29
Awkward :')
SignUpisntcool 3
Why have a conversation? You're taking a crap, don't talk.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
I can't imagine what you guys were talking about in a situation like that...
twilightluvr101 4
Boss: nice presentation today Bob! Op: thanks steve, so how bout that raise! Boss: so how bout you try not to clog out toilets!
TheSmoothDude 10
There's no shame in that he's a guy too he'll understand.
MigraineurOfLife 15
Well you know what they say, co-workers who take dumps together are just... Weird!
micahsmommy 13
Unless you have rather unique shoes couldn't you just play it off as someone else having the same shoes and ignore the boss?
JKChristina 3
Maybe I shouldn't be reading fml while I'm eating... Fml.
silencedistant 0
Did you have Popeye's chicken last night too?