Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

Today, I was written up. Too many customers complained that I don't wear makeup or do my hair. I got written up for being ugly. FML

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

Protip

Today, my boss told me to "act more professionally." So… I sat in the corner and cried for an hour. FML

Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML

Today, my boss fired me because I look like her ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML

Sure, it's always the woman's fault

Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML

Today, at work, a table of girls complained to the manager about me. The complaint? "He's not hot enough to work here. We want a sexy server." The manager agreed with them and sent me home. I might lose my job because of a table of shallow women. FML