Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, my boss made sure to do one last thing before he retired. Fire me. FML
Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML
Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML
Today, a customer at work made threats against me and my two-month old son. Instead of following policy by notifying the police, my manager apologized to him and told me to leave. FML
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML
Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
Today, my boss is still refusing to fire my psychotic coworker, who's made it his mission to insult, annoy, bully and threaten me every day into making me quit. My boss is convinced the guy just has "assburger's" and that the company would get sued if we fired him. FML
Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for work anymore. He said no and went crazy. HR and the police are now involved. FML
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Top comments
JennaNGood 21
Firing anyone sucks, but especially one who makes death threats? That's really nice of your employers to do to you.
Count_Coolness 26
Maybe he's a believer in "don't shoot the messenger"
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Comments (72)
Katthebamf 29
I will not make a firing pun......
byEyecandy 10
Good...
euphoricness 28
#1, you're fired
MeanBeagle 22
glocblocked
sig4life 18
Nothing wrong with a firing pin here and there
brivielle 15
OP i suggest u video the firing. You might need it as evidence somewhere. Goodluck. Buhahahahahahaha *showing myself out*
nikojhavlin 12
Well ****
JennaNGood 21
Firing anyone sucks, but especially one who makes death threats? That's really nice of your employers to do to you.
matthewcald 14
If he's making death threats and is former military he could have PTSD. He could need some serious help.
MeanBeagle 22
I'm assuming you're not his supervisor.
FYlife604 18
Only americans get ptsd; indonesians however don't get it cause they are not at war.
foxwasalamb 24
wow. i hadnt realized that someone could be so ignorant. PTSD isnt just caused by war. but judging from the FML, they said "former military" so im gonna assume he was in the military here
ChristianH39 30
32 if you seriously think only Americans get PTSD or that it only happens to combatants, congratulations. You have just created a new category of stupid.
letmehavemytea 21
PTSD can come from any type of traumatic experiences, such as rape or assault.
LoganEdJ 11
I have PTSD due to a car accident when I was 9 that killed my little sister. I'm 17 and have never been to war. So tell me, how can I not have PRAD?
Swandive235 27
Umm maybe just let him down easy. Like give him a gift basket.
Enslaved 38
Then he'll flip thinking you're calling him a-- basket case.
tony1891 22
or send him a fruit cake a fruit cake a fruit cake.
patrickalamo 48
Or tell him the SOB of a boss is making you so it and you wish the two of you could teach him a lesson.
Pauline96_fml 20
#57 but that means that if that crazy guy actually does something then you will be linked to him as an accomplice when the police get involved
2potato4u 16
That probably blew you away
DenverTyrrell 13
Do it then run for your life...literally by the sounds of it...
Goblin182 27
Yeah, OPcan outrun a bullet.
Count_Coolness 26
Maybe he's a believer in "don't shoot the messenger"
kinky44 28
Have some coworkers come with you in a "firing" squad to dismiss him safetly.
julianbozikovic 20
Call him while he's at home, don't give your name. Hahaha
badluckalex 23
hopefully he cant recognize your voice!
julianbozikovic 20
Use Christian Bale's voice as batman! He'll never know!
wyverntail 15
Use a pay phone.
devildog562 33
Private piles ready for duty!
devildog562 33
No one saw full metal jacket ? Jebus.
Enslaved 38
Maybe more would understand if you also grabbed your crotch and said "This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for fun."
devildog562 33
Drop your cocks and grab you socks.