Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. My boss called me into her office and congratulated me, and spent almost half an hour asking me what our wedding plans were, where we might honeymoon, if we wanted kids, etc. She then followed this by suddenly remembering she had called me into the office to sack me. FML
Today, my boss fired me because he wants to start dating my mother and apparently doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML
Today, my boss called me into her office to tell me I needed to mind my own business and not question everything my newest co-worker does. Yesterday, I stopped the new girl from giving $6,000 to the wrong person. I was fired on the spot. The new girl was promoted into my job. FML
Today, my boss fired me because his girlfriend wanted the job I had. She has no experience whatsoever in my line of work, it was just his "anniversary present" for her. FML
Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML
Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML
Today, I was driving to work and I got a text from my girlfriend. She said she was breaking up with me. I was a little heartbroken, but I had to get on with my day. I got to work and my boss fired me. Turns out, my boss and girlfriend have been having an affair and she told him to fire me. FML
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Top comments
nycwrestler 17
Your boss is a pussy. He should do it himself.
zombieslayer83 19
At least she will have plenty of free time to go on a date with you.
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Comments (123)
perdix 31
Now you can ask her out and not risk a sexual harassment lawsuit. A lot of companies don't allow "fraternization" among the employees, so by sacking this girl, you can get her in the sack.
Catkam623 27
Or then tell someone else to fire her than drop by her office and console her;)
Wani_fml 12
"I'm sorry, I really like you and I want to ask you out but company policy says I'm not allowed to date employees. So... you're fired. Wanna go out?"
tacojauns 45
I think he's test him why else would he fired four "hardworking" employees?
Spectre529 12
I'm wondering if your boss knows and is trolling you
Spectre529 12
I would actually find it funny if it were true
alphatoomega 21
Except he's firing three other people along with her.
pieman528 10
Try asking your boss why he wants to fire them. If its a stupid reason try to convince him to give them a warning first. Hardworking people dont get fired for no reason. That's like bashing out a baker for making an amazing pie. Mmm...pie...
PenguinBitch 44
It's all business son. When the profits aren't doing good we have to fire some people to save some cash.
perdix 31
Isn't this more like a layoff? With the proper fake sympathy, you can pull off the fabled, "layoff, lay on" manuever and become epic!
Enslaved 38
Epic??? "You want it all but you can't have it It's in your face but you can't grab it" I got--Faith No More-- of the brain (Bring in the dying fish!)
perdix 31
I'd have gone with: "It's magic. It's tragic. It's a loss. It's a win." but your lyrics are nice, too. (Or should I say "you're lyrics?" hahahahahaha!)
sunkissedluster 20
your comments are the best perdix (:
perdix 31
#79, aw, thanks. :D
Valiumknights44 12
Well maybe after you fire her she'll be so upset that she'll need a shoulder to cry on. You, my friend, can be that shoulder.
procrastinator91 4
Just be honest with her. If she likes you then she'll probably still say yes :)
RyNo24 4
Just tell her she's fired as your doing her! Win win!
Lucia_Malpense 14
Or... he just wants OP to fire four workers?
aFreedom127 9
You shouldn't be asking out someone you are in a supervisory relationship with!!!
poccocurantes 7
As of this post he is no longer in a supervisory relationship.
dogpup4 23
Why not?
aFreedom127 9
#72 it's called sexual harassment...sex is fine, but not between management and subordinate.
Thejackel79 9
How is that harrassment. If he had asked.before and she said no, and then he coninued to ask anyway then yes. This on the otherhand doesnt sound like harassment at all. Someone smarter than me please correct me if i am wrong.