Today, my anxiety cockblocked me. I was in the middle of a wank, about to come, when I suddenly freaked out and had to stop and check to make sure I didn't have any homework due tomorrow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML
Today, I had a anxiety attack about taking my anxiety medicine. FML
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
Today, I had an anxiety attack because I thought I'd lost my anxiety medication. It ended up being on the shelf right where I left it. FML
Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML
Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
Today, I was having an intense erotic dream. It was going great until I thought, "I hope this isn't a dream." This caused me to wake up. This isn't the first time I've cockblocked myself in a dream. FML
Today, my anxiety-ridden body decided that a good time to have a random panic attack for no reason at all would be when I was trying to go to sleep. Guess I'll stay awake, then. FML
Today, I'm having an existential crisis. I don't what the future holds, I'm overthinking and stressing about things I could've controlled. Now I'm having a breakdown and I've got a test tomorrow and I have to take a bath, but all my lazy ass does is worry but never actually do the fucking work. FML
Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML
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Top comments
Psycocharger 19
Well, that sucks. Should've finished first (Which one do I mean ;))
saifnaqvi11 21
Well did you have any?
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Comments (52)
saifnaqvi11 21
Well did you have any?
cole_tyler42 21
Well he's obviously not getting any.
SayWeCanHanley 8
i actually may have laughed a little too hard at these comments.
lexred 30
Man....u ********** to chill. so while fapping....don't get anxious. just relax and you'll get relaxed too.
Niicky_fml 20
That's not how anxiety disorders work
Tripartita 45
"Just relax and you'll get relaxed too" makes about as much sense as laxatives which require you to defecate before use.
Avi8r 22
"Dude that's not the point of marathons just get out of the wheelchair don't be paralyzed just run"
jtfrisch 22
Hold up, why are you assuming this is an anxiety disorder? This is a pretty normal level of anxiety.
BlackBoyFly 11
#9 I remember that Laxative post ha-ha
annoyedperson 25
Make sure to do your homework before you wank
Shadowchire 12
Is that even a cockblock if it stops you from masturbating?
revolvearoundme 15
I don't think so. Kinda like claiming you were in a car accident when you tripped on the lawn and fell into your car. While technically true it's not quite proper usage.
Psycocharger 19
Well, that sucks. Should've finished first (Which one do I mean ;))
oiler 21
the homework...?
Ervinator35 25
I hope you did have some, so that you didn't have to stop for nothing.
destroy577 11
I think i speak for everybody when i ask... Did you have any homework?
Dexter83_fml 17
Lol wtf dude it's not like you can multi task.
Tripartita 45
I think the real FML here is that you were only in the middle of a wank but already about to come. Wording is fun.
SecundusSecunda 27
P.E. is terrible :(
Lalala579121 28
The ending was very sudden and anticlimactic.
ham_spam 17
The word is cum
MrSarary 26
Anxiety is tough. Deal with the best you can, maybe next time check the homework before you chose to do something else.