Anonymous
Barrie, Canada
Today, my 9 year old shitblossom of a sister decided to wake me up by hocking a loogie into my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
sheridan.ashley
Australia
Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
davincourt
Apollo Beach, United States
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Katie
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
United States
The Bathtub Incident
Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML
Ese
Ewwwwww
Today, my sister took me out shopping for my birthday and had been drinking a Monster the whole day. Halfway back home, I took a sip of it and she screamed, but it was too late. I had drunk the phlegm that she spat into the can earlier. FML
good big sister?
Sault Sainte Marie, Canada
Sleep demon
Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML
Anonymous
Sudbury, Canada
If it's brown, let it float around.
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
shitface
Australia
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
qwerty
Today, I found out my little sister took a picture of me taking a shit and showed it to her friends. FML
Melissa
Badmouth Strikes Again
Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML
Top comments
arano 29
Lmao. Shitblossom.
juicy_extasy 25
Take it out of your mouth and stick it on her face. Ew!
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Comments (65)
disturbedchyk 11
that's the most disgusting thing anyone could do. I would rather have been woken up by being punched in the face! definitely FYL OP
random_man1999 11
Shit on her bed, it works for me
the_steven 6
"shitblossom"! lmao!
TabooSushi 24
Thank you for the word "shitblossom."
Therid 22
Shitblossom, that is awesome!
kimeatszombies 22
All I could think about was Guardians of the Galaxy when Starlord calls someone a turd blossom.
idk_rose 25
Shitblossom is my new favorite word
baby4mommy 27
All of the presidents family and senior staff are signed secret code names by the secret service. When former US President George Bush's was in the White House Karl Rove's code name was turd blossom.
buymevickis92 26
Shitblossom? lol I'm going to have to steal that and call my sister that. Sorry OP but I swear fml is the best place to find new insults.
danidez17 3
I would've beat the shit out of her