Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother was suspended from school. He referred to himself as "Master" and two female classmates as his "bitches" in front of his teacher. He's ten years-old. What kind of family do I live in? FML
Today, my brother told my 3 year-old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML
Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML
Today, my 10-year-old brother won the poem contest at his school. Since then he won’t stop bugging me with them. FML
Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML
Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about isn't real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, while grading my kindergarteners' spelling tests, one kid spelled all the words wrong, including his name. FML
Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mastamouse 12
You bloody wanker
bazookajoey 27
Brothers look up to older siblings You could convince him to change the name (:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (69)
worldclassrager 41
Change the name to walker?
WillN210 7
Well, he's a early bloomer
newmember123 6
lol
annie_nk 23
Good news is he's only six. There's still time to teach him.
CoGhostRider 31
Plus he wrote a book at 6 who really cares about the name or dialogue That's pretty amazing
winchestinalock 21
What's there in a name? :p
Enslaved 38
And what did Wanker do in this book?
Sierra7211 17
Wanker was a carpenter; he had a lot of wood..
pjsr 33
Wanker was a surfer - always waxing his board
91hayek 31
You could try to get him to change it to Wonka in pronunciation then in spelling. Unless this is infringing on Dahl's copyright.
Jghaugland 6
Wanker was a gardener, always planting his seed.
AllStache 11
There's no need to threadjack there are only 50 comments
JJ_86 22
I wonder what you just did there #51. Btw wanker was a construction worker. His favorite tool is the jackhammer.
Flowtastic 16
I thought Wanker was a fisherman, always reeling in his rod...
pimrol 16
Emma is that you. I still have no idea what a wanker is but. you are now grounded.
wvcheesehead 13
You anchor?
dariustanrw 7
made my bloody day
synced88 3
Was this "Wanker" a blu sniper?