jimmy
Orangeville, Canada
Today, my 5-year-old son put my car keys in the microwave thinking that they would 'warm up' my car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
It's always in the most obvious place
Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML
why do eggs explode
Calgary, Canada
Boom!
Today, while I was in the shower, my 4 year-old son wondered what would happen if he put 6 eggs in the microwave. FML
Mike
United Kingdom
Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML
sunil
Calgary, Canada
Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML
mrs14
United States
Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML
mister fixit? more like mister fuxit
New York, United States
Constant surveillance
Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML
Anonymous
I want to smell feet
Today, my idiot son incinerated his shoes in the oven. They were wet and he wanted to "quick-dry" them, so now the whole house smells terrible. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML
wtfdaughter
Recife, Brazil
Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML
Anonymous
Ängelholm, Sweden
One night
Today, I woke up after putting my child to bed. Drowsy, I stumbled down to the kitchen to make a mug cookie. I read a recipe on my phone, and put a knob of butter in a cup to melt in the microwave. I put my phone in the microwave and turned it on for 30 seconds, and didn't realize what I'd done until I smelt burning plastic. FML
Top comments
burrito_sama 16
At least his heart was in the right place?
Cads1 24
At least he cares. He could have put them in the toilet.
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Comments (108)
worldclassrager 41
Is the microwave okay?
auntillz1untill9 9
The microwave should be somewhere a five-year-old can't reach. YDI
klutz44 28
5 year olds can climb. Also, sometimes you don't have a choice about where your microwave goes. Mine is in a bottom cabinet near the floor, there just isn't room anywhere else.
lukian_fml 29
Don't most modern microwaves have child locks?
Cllama 10
nope they don't have locks.
corky1992 33
You must not have kids. They're sneaky as hell. 5 year olds can be tall enough to reach or he could have climbed. That's what kids do. You can literally turn your back away for a few seconds to a minute and they will get into something they're not supposed to.
Redgy22 26
It's called watching your kids. & yes, I have them & know it's not easy, but that's the choice you made when you chose to be a parent. Kids are quick!
Brandi_Faith 34
All you have to do is go pee and the 5 year old could've pulled over a chair and used the microwave. 15 seconds tops is all that would take. This is not op's fault at all. But hopefully op has had a serious chat with their kid about not touching the microwave and how it's dangerous and could've hurt her, or burned the house down, or something else just as bad.
everythingelena 28
well at least his heart was in the right place, he didn't want you to get cold in the car.
plebs_everywhere 7
Am I the only one who thinks that a 5-year old should already know that metal objects don't belong into a microwave? My sister is 5 too and we taught her that only food is supposed to be microwaved, no silverware, no plastics. And if you can't teach your child basics about microwaves, don't have the microwave within the reach of a child. It was not cute, it was dangerous.
corky1992 33
Ever heard of climbing? Kids tend to do that. It's not always easy to keep things out of their reach if they climb. Also, who's to say he wasn't told that? You can tell kids over and over not to do something and sometimes they will still do it. Just wait until you have kids of your own. You'll learn.
photographer49 22
#32 As far as lessons go I'm sure a lot of people don't place "No silverware in the microwave" lessons at the top of their lists. Most adults are still putting food in the microwaves for their children not letting them operate it themselves.
GrumpyGrinch 23
YDI: at 5 you had the time to get some basic info in his head. At least about the potential dangers in the household.
BeautifulChaos27 37
Grumpy Grinch... at least you already know what you are! Maybe they did start telling him the basics but hadn't gotten to the microwave yet? OR MAYBE he just forgot, kids can be absent minded you know.
Lalala579121 28
Little children learn much better by doing something bad first than just by being told it's bad.
corky1992 33
Exactly. You can tell a child over and over that something is bad, but sometimes they still try it anyways! Their little minds are curious, and sometimes they do forget!
Brandi_Faith 34
A 5 yr old isn't supposed to use the microwave so I can see why a parent wouldn't think to tell them about what should and shouldn't be microwaved. All the kid needs to know is not to touch it at all. And as the others have mentioned, kids always do what they're told not to.
photographer49 22
What is up with all these comments saying a 5 year old should know about how microwaves work? You realize that 5 years is when a child is in kindergarten right? So I think it goes without saying the parents haven't exactly taught their kids the fundamental functionalities of a microwave.
corky1992 33
People who say that either do not have kids or think they're perfect parents who never turn their backs on their kids for even a second.
danimal_crackerz 26
So, did they?
justi4541 3
Better microwave goodbye to those keys
heavenlyassbutt 11
Aw how cute. I love kids.
vikky538 29
While it sounds cute. Its dangerous.
hpandher 16
Atleast he didn't set your car on fire to "warm it up".