Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML
Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mallorydomio 0
Hahaha fatties need love too
realsdmf 4
Fatty sex is the best sex. Also, they were currently having more sexy time than you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (294)
enoughgrace 4
go, fight them on the beaches!
perdix 31
Wouldn't it sound more like The Battle of the Bulge?
sjch 0
you win forever =]
Asoman 3
fat chicks need live too! .... but they gotta pay for it....
Lyssaboo13 2
hahahahahah.(:
onepluszero 0
agreeeeeed!!!!!!!
onepluszero 0
agreeeeeed!!!!!!!
onepluszero 0
agreeeeeed!!!!!!!
onepluszero 0
agreeeeeed!!!!!!!
lukethe 0
Only in America.
Jimboom 12
Fire in the hole!!! Take cover!! Just hope for your sake they aren't into watersports or anything like that.