Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML
Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML
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Top comments
Mallorydomio 0
Hahaha fatties need love too
realsdmf 4
Fatty sex is the best sex. Also, they were currently having more sexy time than you.
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Comments (294)
happypenguin7293 0
depending on how tall. Yeah it is. for a cheerleader...
hook_em 0
today on animal planet we will discover what the invasion of Normandy sounds like in your own house
burns_daniel 0
LOL OH MAN
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
I finally get to bring a date home and my roomate is too stupid to leave and give us some privacy, instead he just sits in there listening. FML
attatood 8
I wouldn't leave either. The guy lives there too! Let fatty take his boyfriend somewhere else. He is the disrespectful one.
MissFukMyLuck 0
anorexic dumb bitch sex is pretty nasty too :p
beastin34 0
hahahhaha free willy
BabyBlaze 0
I love the way you described that. This is hysterical.
krazy_glu3 0
gawd you guys are never satisfied. if some weighs a lil more than usual they are fat, but if someone isn't fat, they automatically are considered anorexic. that's friggn retarded. grow up
fearfulsymmetry 1
Explain to me how 400 pounds is not fat. I think it's ridiculous to call someone who weighs 140-160 fat, but 400 ******* pounds? That's OBESE.
varkey 7
@150: not really, if you were 8'11'' that would be considered normal weight [or if you were tall and SUPER muscular], but i'm just being facetious since only one person ever reached that great a height and @op, fyl, that's just nasty!! [whether or not it's gay as well]
RayeofSunshine 0
Fat people need love too! Besides, who's getting laid and who's whining on FML? Oh, and if you don't want to listen to it, get out of the apartment for an hour instead of whining about it. YDI. And for all the stupid people who wonder how fat people have sex, they have sex like anybody else. I can't believe this is even an issue.
JosieBongs 0
I detect a tone. Are you angry because you, too are insanely huge?
_GODZILLA_ 0
I LOL'ed.