Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML
Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML
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Top comments
Mallorydomio 0
Hahaha fatties need love too
realsdmf 4
Fatty sex is the best sex. Also, they were currently having more sexy time than you.
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Comments (294)
LittleMonsterSam 5
maybe they'll have a kid thats 400 lbs too
docscientist 10
I'm...not sure..that's how it works...
buckie123 3
woohoo! I'm happy the fatties are getting some. I suggest you get out of the flat or something...
disney_blonde 16
I didn't even think it was possible to find the right parts through all that padding... He probably missed and hit a sweaty fat roll instead...
RedPillSucks 33
Interesting... Is sex without insertion still sex, or is it just foreplay?
Subtext 10
It is not so difficult. The guy just has to put flour on the woman and then you can easily see the wet spot... Also you can turn the girl around, slap her on the ass and try to get inside with the third ripple
Doortje 30
Subtext, your first paragraph was disgustingly awesome.
Robotata 6
Roommate (probably guy) brought home a 400 pound guy... ?
Primus_fml 0
Why would you assume that?
Robotata 6
Because op is a man, so his roommate must be a man too.
underguarded 20
Well they got more folds to play with. The battles gonna last a little longer.
motero 0
800 pounds of meat rolling around in there. probably sounds like 2 walruses flopping each other
oliviabivia 0
rofl lmfao!!!
RedPillSucks 33
Laughing my FAT ass off?
rummydummy 3
excuse me sir please step on this weighing scales before fornicating with my co-inhabitor... My lord you both weigh the exact same how extraordinary
LADYGAGAGOOGA 0
How Marvelous
rlseafor 0
at that size the man probably can't tell the difference between a fat roll and the actual ******. probably feels the exact same. or I would have to assume so at least.
loski87 4
Your comment reminds me of the Family Guy episode where Lois and Peter have obese sex.
DGross 8
Stewie: Find your penis for a dollar... One dollar to find you penis
zendaddy0 0
he probably couldn't find his penis