Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML
Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML
Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML
Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML
Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML
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Top comments
Mallorydomio 0
Hahaha fatties need love too
realsdmf 4
Fatty sex is the best sex. Also, they were currently having more sexy time than you.
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Comments (294)
brainstew0 0
So was it anything like that Family Guy scene where a fat Lois is getting it on with Peter???Huh? Huh? Hahaha!
MLuckyCapoeirist 6
I don't think that he checked
klong91 7
Don't be jealous just because they didn't invite you to join.
tokugawasan 0
loved the way you said "sounds like the invasion of Normandy" I literally laughed my ass off!!!!
Kittenfluff 2
Alright, usually I'm not all grammar-nazi-ish, but I highly doubt you literally laughed your ass off. If that were the case, your ass would be thoroughly detached from your body as a result of laughing. Literally implies it actually happened. But I'll agree the wording was incredibly awesome. :3
hotair10 9
haha Normandy..... grammar-NAZI...... never mind
tokugawasan 0
...........
Miii_fml 0
lmao!! u dont like earthquakes?!?
hoghunter 1
that's what I was wondering how do they get around the mountain of fat in between them. do they use extenders?
bigbadtim 7
Did their bed survive the encounter?
bumgum1 0
probably not... I'm pretty sure they did it on the floor, the bed would have broke under that much weight... it probably bends every night from the owner 0.o
JokersChild310 0
wow jealous much? stop worrying about their weight and go get some urself, or is it your shallowness and judgemental attitude the reason you're alone?
Burning_Star_IV 3
Owned! Go Normandy
Guren 0
only in Virginia
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
F the bed's life!