Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML
Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, I moved into my new college apartment for the next year. A 45 year old guy with a mustache in short shorts and no shirt answers the door. He will be one of my roommates. FML
Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
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Top comments
paid2think 0
That's epic.
marinus_fml 20
At-least he wasn't masturbating to it!
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Comments (137)
paid2think 0
That's epic.
sukaaa 0
play along with it then totaly **** him over and obliterate his army.... its like taking candy from a baby. just this baby is a grown ass loser bahahahamuahaha
comatoast 0
Trojan maaaaaaaaan!
zepsykoala 0
An epic prank, I'd guess... (Not from the OP, from the roomy)
KaleidoscopePope 0
meh, not that big of a deal. YLIA
MissErikaHart 0
no chuck Norris comments?
to3_tag 0
#27 No.
trueblue42 4
this just became one of my favorite FMLs. sorry about your life btw
rallets 23
is his name Julius Caesar? lmao i just got an image of him yelling "eat a hearty breakfast..for TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!!!!!!"
KingDingALing 9
OP- If you want him to leave then just make sure that he walks in on you, jacking off to a weird fetish ****. He'll get freaked out and move out quicker then Speedy Gonzalez on crack.
MyFirstKiss 0
thats epic FAIL
legonut6 0
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris gets roundhouse kicked by you! That saved everyone lots of time.
missory_missouri 0
That's hilarious!!!!!
marinus_fml 20
At-least he wasn't masturbating to it!
TheySeeMeTrollin_fml 0
Or he just left that part out.
Sun_Kissed18 25
not yet....
AAShah 0
Lol. Give him time. He just might end up doing so.
taymichele16 15
Yet*
Whitehawkxii 0
Hahaha, I think I can enjoy someone like him. This isn't so bad. Just wait and see what he has to offer you. You can laugh at him. Or he will ask you to if you can join his army to fight off the baddies xD YDI.
silvermoonstar3 3
Ehh... it's a good way for the roommate to secure a double for himself. I know someone who did this with a triple. He set up a fort with pillows and blankets the first day. He never saw 1 of the roommates and only saw the other once.
zepsykoala 0
Yeah, probably something like that...
dacho 7
Travian?
TurboTalon 0
That's what I was thinking lol. I played a few years back.. but I had European sitters so I always got a good nights sleep.
sirbrainiac 2
I used to play too! but I wasn't good at all -.-
robnunzi 0
hide his armor
TomPusslicker 21
Better yet, hide pieces of his armor at different times... lol. But like another poster said, hide anything that could be used as a weapon first lol.
Action_Bastard 0
Sounds like Kevin French from Mission Hill. God I miss that show T_T
zkchild 0
That show was great.
FTC_Socialist 3
+1
SpaceMannn 0
I sure hope he doesn't get computer raged when he loses and goes and attacks you with his real spear:o Take his shield!
sapphireflames11 0
Hide his gear, see if he cries.
FYLDeep 26
Gladiators are *******. Dress up like Rambo. Then he'll know you don't take shit from anyone.
far_east 6
from what i remember.. gladiators were prisoners of war that were pit against eachother to fight to the death. swords, tridents, big fat hammers, spears- i think its safe to say that thats more manly than bullets.. but yes rambo is epic.. just not as epic.
FYLDeep 26
Rambo would take him out when he was still 100 yards back.
Infamous_Hawk 6
no Chuck Norris is better then them both put together
jonmansheppard 9
chuck norris looks at gladiators and they fall down dead!
BlackMoon_fml 9
Agreed. He sounds pretty ******* amazing to me.
JERZBornNRaised 7
yea sounds like a real winner especially when hes married.. i can see it now.. girl: wanna play a little ;).. guy: not now babe you see i have an army to tend to, so make it quick hahaha
JERZBornNRaised 7
yea sounds like a real winner especially when hes married.. i can see it now.. girl: wanna play a little ;).. guy: not now babe you see i have an army to tend to, so make it quick hahaha
illegalnative 0
winner indeed, roleplay ready...of course :D