Today, at 17 years-old my doctor told me my balls are riddled with multiple small cancerous tumours. They are now useless for sperm production and will have to be removed anyway to cure the cancer, but not to worry, for aesthetic reasons they can replace them with silicone balls instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
Today, I went to a doctor's appointment, being concerned about some abnormal swelling and soreness in one of my testicles. They fondled my balls for 20 seconds before saying, "Yeah, that's abnormal. You should probably go get an ultrasound somewhere and maybe take some ibuprofen for the pain. That'll be $265." FML
Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML
Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML
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Top comments
KristyRoseTakeMeHome 12
It's fine, there's plenty of kids to adopt if you need to raise one. Just see to your health so you can survive.
sarsuela 29
He said they are useless for sperm production.
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Comments (9)
KristyRoseTakeMeHome 12
It's fine, there's plenty of kids to adopt if you need to raise one. Just see to your health so you can survive.
kfchicken 31
i don't really think having any form of cancer is "fine"
Nemesis_1148437476 9
Freeze some your sperm before going through the surgery if possible. You can try artificial insemination when you want children
sarsuela 29
He said they are useless for sperm production.
CowgirlWithHeart 16
That's not a genetic thing you would want to pass on.
Yudith 28
Poor you. My master also had my balls removed, even though they were perfectly healthy balls, just because he didn't want me to have puppies. I took two pounds just after the operation. On the other hand, it's easier to live without the worry of finding a mate and fighting with other dogs, I won't have balls cancer, and with the silicone balls, it's easier to lick your privates.
j.b. 1
what the ****?
Doug Leitch Jr. 3
shhhhh... It's a Gen Z that think's it's a dog... Just back away slowly...
RichardPencil 32
Get cantaloupe-sized ones so you can be like Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend.
GoogieWithers 25
A family member of mine had a similar problem. After chemo and surgery he was fine. He just recently celebrated his fourth birthday!
Hunter Phillips 7
leap year?
Jordan Martinez 2
I hope all turns out well for you though!
charapos 5
Sorry to hear this ! … there are other methods of having children , adoption is one
DanielleinDC 34
I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully you'll just need surgery and not radiation and/or chemo. As for the aesthetics, that's entirely up to you. I hope you make a swift and full recovery.
IHaveThePower 18
Well, getting hit in the nuts should hurt a lot less.