Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home to three boys riding bikes out in front of my house, smiling at me. I instantly thought they were checking me out, so I smiled sweetly at them. Turns out they were flaunting the fact that they just stole all 3 of our bikes. FML
Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML
Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML
Today, I discovered a purple BMX bike abandoned in my front yard. I wondered why it was there, until I looked over to discover that my own bike had been stolen. I guess they liked mine better. FML
Today, I woke up and saw my new car was gone and my son seemed very shifty. When I questioned him with the cops, he admitted to taking it for a joyride and "leaving it" behind a derelict mall. We drove over. It was wrapped around a light post, completely destroyed. FML
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RouletteRed 6
Think before you act. You never know what's really going on and can get in serious trouble when you do something like that lol. Besides let a kid ride regardless till he's done. Don't just kick him off xD.
TwitchingNebula 17
YDI. I understand the thought process, but you probably should have talked to the parents first.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (83)
Juicy0023 0
Should have talked to the parents b4 taking the kids trike
jwktheman 6
we have a winner.
GlitteryMasakali 1
Assumptions is the mother of all **** ups!
organicmtdew 0
I liked that episode of The Shield, too.
meganivoree 0
when you assume, you make an ASS of U and ME ;D get it? lol
Sophomoric1 13
You know what they say about assumptions...
LilysTillie 7
Perhaps instead on scolding a 3 yr old that is not yours, you should have thought about chatting with his parents, what a thought! Unless your son's tricycle is a one of a kind, tricked out tricycle, that was an awfully stupid assumption!
cab227 2
Who calls the cops on a stolen tricycle?
some_girl9 8
It's not just the tricycle. The OP also got physical with someone else's kid. Are you catching on now?
some_girl9 8
Wow, OP, you are a truly a dumbass. It never occurred to you to go to the child's parents, instead of walking up and blatantly accosting him? Your just lucky the parents didn't see you. If you ever put your hands on my kid and then took his trike away, you would be in the hospital right now, bitch.
some_girl9 8
Wow, OP, you are truly a dumbass. It never occurred to you to go to the child's parents, instead of walking up and blatantly accosting him? It also never occurred to you that there might in fact be another tricycle in the world that looks like your son's? You're just lucky the parents didn't see you. If you had put your hands on my kid and then took his trike away, you would be in the hospital right now, bitch.