Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home to three boys riding bikes out in front of my house, smiling at me. I instantly thought they were checking me out, so I smiled sweetly at them. Turns out they were flaunting the fact that they just stole all 3 of our bikes. FML
Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML
Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML
Today, I discovered a purple BMX bike abandoned in my front yard. I wondered why it was there, until I looked over to discover that my own bike had been stolen. I guess they liked mine better. FML
Today, I woke up and saw my new car was gone and my son seemed very shifty. When I questioned him with the cops, he admitted to taking it for a joyride and "leaving it" behind a derelict mall. We drove over. It was wrapped around a light post, completely destroyed. FML
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
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Top comments
RouletteRed 6
Think before you act. You never know what's really going on and can get in serious trouble when you do something like that lol. Besides let a kid ride regardless till he's done. Don't just kick him off xD.
TwitchingNebula 17
YDI. I understand the thought process, but you probably should have talked to the parents first.
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Comments (83)
perdix 31
Whatever you say, Peter File.
zombifysara 6
You're my new hero, Perdix.
oneleggedbeauty 0
that's why you talk to the parents not the 3 year old
Mirorbo 27
Leave vigilante work to Batman, people...
delfino1604 24
and now the police are lecturing you on stealing small childrens bikes :) good job! YDI
alex6946 10
Why even lecture a little kid? It's not like they listen, I never did and still don't :P
ihazpancakemix 1
hide your wife, hide your kids , hide your tricycles !
drawmesunshine 17
Win.
iAmScrubs 19
At least you have a get-away vehicle so they don't catch you ridin' dirty.
TheLastChild 8
Not my genitals. Just trolls'. Not surprisingly, there's always plenty to eat.
eminemchick 19
ridin dirty just because im white & nerdy
catnip1997 0
you really stole from a kid? get a life
catnip1997 0
shut up kid
HomeAl0ne 20
You see him riding, you hating.
anastasiabeaverh_fml_fml 6
Tsk tsk