Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, I saw a blond-haired guy crouched by my bike fiddling with something as I came back from the shop. Thinking he was a thief, I slammed him across the head with my helmet, knocked him over - then I realised not only was he a kid barely in his teens, he was tying his shoes. FML
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML
Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
Today, I helped a 6 year-old boy who was left alone at a store to get back home. The kid's parents were grateful, but my mother cussed me out and called me stupid for helping the kid. No good dead goes unpunished. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
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Top comments
dudeitsdanny 10
You should have punched him back and told him to help his kid himself next time. FYL. And Fthekid'sL for having a father like that.
jellyfish_ftw 0
this was clearly an ambush set up by the boy and his dad as a father/son bonding experience. you should feel grateful to have participated.
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Comments (71)
Lehk 9
umm? press charges and sue for assault.
TimmyM 0
sorry, we live in the UK, where we don't sue for the simplest of misunderstandings! We aren't all money grabbing bastards here!
magicwings 0
Took the words right out of my mouth. In America, you trip over a pavement and sue the paving company, the shoe company, the homeless person who saw you, and your parents. In the UK, you get over it. Lol.
LewJH 0
So, so true :')
leiziueyes 0
And in Brazil you make a joke about it.
TimmyM 0
yeah, only because they are learning how easy it is after seeing the Americans do it. Heard about something similar once, some kid climbed a fence to trespass, ripped his trousers on the way down and wanted the council to pay. They laughed his ******* ass right out the office and he never got shit. Thats how you treat people. You don't compensate them.
Kel_x 0
Yeah, seriously. I hate the suing culture in America. It's just pointless greed. It's bullshit. In England people get the **** over it.
Ichigoner 0
I don't think we sue much in America either.....except for that lady that sued McDonalds over the hot coffee. That was just lame. -__-
parallel 0
The McDonald's coffee incident was for safety reasons, too. The coffee turned out to be far too hot to be legally safe for human consumption. A lot of the time, things don't get changed unless a loss of money is involved. It's not always just greed.
Jincos 0
Or in the UK you bitch more about it. Stuck up, yellowed teeth, ugly ******* English *****. Do me a favor and take that worthless redundant behavior off of FML and go outside and meet some friends.
fawfulster 11
Correct me if I'm wrong #19, but isn't it also kinda illegal to curse? I mean, it's not like if I say "****" and they send me to jail, but like, I insult my friend and he sues me... Am I right? I mean, I read in a magazine that someone got sued for swearing. Still, I may be wrong so **** it.
nomo_fml 0
If you actually knew anything about the case, you would know that McDonald's was repeatedly heating their coffee to temperatures that exceeded regulations and was not safe for consumption. The judgment against them was more for punitive measures to ensure that McDonald's actually took the case seriously. Something like $7+ million in punitive damages, and a couple dozen thousand for hospital bills. Also, the woman suffered serious burns all over her body, including her back, and it was quite serious. A person shouldn't be served a drink (something meant for consumption) that hot.
GEFStryker 29
I don't usually do this, but in this case, I just have to, and I am surprised no one has already called you on this matter. You Sir, fit the term "Nitwit" in the most complete sense I believe I have ever seen. Stupid? Check. Foolish? Check. Lacking sense or understanding or judgment? Double check. I would strongly advise you to do your research, or at least have somewhat recent knowledge of events that are taking, or have already taken place, before you post your insubstantiated and dim-witted opinions of said events. Now to correct your uneducated post, I would bring forward the following relevant facts and and will link to several sources of the case of Liebeck v. McDonald's Restaurants. First and foremost, if YOU ACTUALLY KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT THE CASE, McDonald's was not "repeatedly" heating their coffee to temperatures that exceeded regulations. This was a corporate decision, studied, planned and executed in every McDonald's franchise in the United States and Canada. I would point you at this time to an internal memo provided at the trial stating these facts, but sadly, it no longer seems to exist within the confines of the online world. I could rant on and on about why this was done, but I will let you research the material yourself with the links I am providing below. I do apologise for not putting in footnotes, but the FML comments do not support HTML. Secondly, skipping to the end of your post, Liebeck did not... let me capitalize that just to drill it in... Liebeck DID NOT suffer serious burns all over her body. A vascular surgeon determined that Liebeck suffered full thickness burns (or third-degree burns) over 6 percent of her body, including her inner thighs, perineum, buttocks, and genital and groin areas. She was hospitalized for eight days, during which time she underwent skin grafting. Liebeck also underwent debridement treatments. Third, I would strongly advise that you either refrain from making up random numbers off the top of your head, or head back to pre-school and learn how to read numbers that surpass the three digit mark. I say this to lead into my next point, which is that of the compensatory damages and the punitive damages that she recieved. The jury, after applying comparative negligence (In laymans terms, that basically means that the damages awarded to the plaintiff was considerably less then what it might have been, owing to the fact that Liebeck was found to be partially at fault), awarded Liebeck US$200,000 in compensatory damages, and $2.7 million in punitive damages. Quick fact: The jurors came about this number as a way of penalizing McDonald's for approximately two days of coffee sales, with the average sales amount being an average of US$1.35 Million. Not at all shocking, these figures were lowered considerably by the judge, with the final payout being set at $640,000. This was appealed by both sides, and later an undisclosed amount believed to be less then $600,000 was settled outside the courts. Now then, when all is said and done, don't you just feel like a complete jackass? I really hope this helps you learn, even on the internet where arguing is like competing in the special olympics, a winner is still a winner even if nobody else gives a shit. So check your facts, or somebody will come along and pwn your ass. References: 1.) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck_v._McDonald%27s_Restaurants 2.) http://www.officer.com/web/online/Editorial-and-Features/The-27-Million-Coffee-Spill/19$36556 3.) http://74.125.93.132/search?q=cache:WVz8pVUYQuQJ:www.csb.uncw.edu/people/eversp/classes/BLA361/BusLawCases/Liebeck%2520v%2520McDonalds%2520case%2520file.records%2520destroyed.doc+court+documents+for+Liebeck+v.+McDonald%27s+Restaurants&cd=5&hl=en&ct=clnk
reyemrein 0
shoot down that helicopter parent with your lawsuit rpg
Syzygy 0
wow nomo, you just got destroyed.
bobnorris 0
**** you guys... America is the ******* best place ever, and you can suck a huge ass dick if you disagree! we are muthaphukin America bitch!
AmadeusMop 0
...And that's why the US will no longer be a superpower in a decade or two. Not many Americans actually care about the rest of the world, and the US's global market is really suffering because of it. And yes, I am an American.
gress269 4
Dads be daddin'.
ajeppsen 25
Americans a
marigoldcobain 21
54, nobody ******* cares
ciaobella_fml 0
Oh wow doing something nice and get bucked. FYL
allmidnighteyes 11
You were tryna run off with his bike to do hoodrat stuff with a frann', right? I think your punishment should be no video games fo' a whole weekend.
GR3453m0nk3y 4
i dont think anyone needs to point out what a douche you are use correct letters and words while typing its ******* annoying no one can understand you
TheHeroOfTime 0
To the post above: **** you, leave him alone you pansy ass bitch motha' ****** hood nigga' lovin' 'ueer fgot
pyroanarchist23 0
lmao latorian milton
cs26 0
I thought you were joking, actually.
allmidnighteyes 11
Suck a dick 27, and go Youtube Latarion Milton. ******* twatwaffle.
capital_seven 0
"Twatwaffle"? I'm stealing that
mikesok988 0
I would have slapped the kid...he had to have had a role in this.
dudeitsdanny 10
You should have punched him back and told him to help his kid himself next time. FYL. And Fthekid'sL for having a father like that.
xpxp2002 4
Was the 12 year old boy really on old lady with groceries? http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/4942849
la_vie_en_rose 0
EXACTLY! Thanks for that.
shadowryder 0
You shouldve beat the dad with the bike =p jk. But at least explain what was going on to him.
brutallyhonest24 0
yea, only you should take it one step farther, and explain what really happened, then while hes distracted you knife him because your still mad about him punching you, problem solved =D
jellyfish_ftw 0
this was clearly an ambush set up by the boy and his dad as a father/son bonding experience. you should feel grateful to have participated.
sexymessy 0
LOL that's what I was thinking!
Musje 0
Also what I was thinking, why wouldn't the dad help the kid?
xBIGD525 0
9th
jellyfish_ftw 0
NO ONE CARES
Lancer873 0
Oh I do hope your life's dreams are fulfilled now!!! May the whole world rejoice that you are the ninth person to comment on this post! Oh joyous day oh joyous day!!! Please to be going to mother nature now and asking "I can has life?"
Person1233 13
The people say that say their comment number aren't as bad as the people who complain about it -_-
jellyfish_ftw 0
YOU'RE A TOWEL
TimmyM 0
no sir, you are literally a towel.
airplanefood 0
Lubriderm !
xuthdude 0
no, im a big book publisher. you're a towel
ireply_w_lyrics 0
"...I get knocked down But I get up again You're never going to keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You're never going to keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You're never going to keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You're never going to keep me down..." And then you fight back, even though "...I ain't as good as I once was My how the years have flown But there was a time back in my prime When I could really hold my own But if you wanna fight tonight Guess thouse boys dont look all that Tough I ain't as good as I once was But I'm as good once as I ever was..."
jellyfish_ftw 0
...............damn you. now i'm going to have that song stuck in my head all night. i hope you're happy.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
uhm, its pretty late (at least where i am), so ull be goin to bed soon anywho. And which one? It appears that i have posted 2 :O
TheHeroOfTime 0
I read your name. And now my life is complete.
trivel64 16
OMFG HERO OF TIME