Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly six minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML
Today, after spending over two hours cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom, my 5-year-old then runs in, yells, “Snowstorm!” and throws a bag of flour all over the floor. FML
Today, I screwed up in my job, my husband lost his luggage in an airport, then my daughter broke the toilet flush, and my friend's kid poured porridge onto the carpet. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
Today, my child thinks it's hilarious to continuously pour his entire Lego collection all over the floor. When I tidy it away, he does it all over again. FML
Today, I broke my mug, windshield wiper, shower curtain, and foot, all in six hours. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML
Today, I spent ages cleaning my house, only for my toddler to spill a box of cereal right when I'd finished. As I cleaned up the mess, the dog dragged the cereal into almost every room. All the floors now have what I can only describe as "surprise crunch zones." FML
Today, I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette and then my two year-old son locked me out. I didn't have my cellphone so while I was waiting for my husband to get home, he pooped, smeared his poop all over the floor and glass door, then tried to "mop it." It was literally a shit show. FML
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Top comments
garf3265 12
have kids they said, it will be fun they said
cutycat136 28
When I read the part about covering the house with Cheerios, all I could picture was your kid going around the house literally placing the Cheerios one by one all around the house so they'd cover every spot he could get.
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Comments (122)
thatonedude55 8
There is nothing with more destructive power than a toddler.
Grean 19
This kid is going somewhere. Brooklyn, probably.
valentinov 15
If he's wearing glasses at the age of 3, I don't blame him.
Bubblez2009 15
Now that's super power
gobiteme2 34
There is an easy fix for this the next time you do laundry. Get “VELCRO” and stick them on the wall next to the pile of clean laundry before putting away.
shino411cute 13
What I do with my 2 year old is I have him help me put the clothes away. We make I into a fun game and if he makes a big mess he helps clean it up. I give him stickers for a chart I have and if he gets 15 he gets small prizes like little cars. It works wonders and now he's always trying to help.;)
qwertycode 19
I don't think your three-year-old should need glasses, even if his eyesight isn't 20/20 anymore you should still wait a couple of years.
tinycroc 10
You are kidding, right? If a child gets glasses at that age, it's usually because it's obvious they are having trouble seeing, or an eye defect. Not wearing glasses can cause eye strain and headaches.
starcravingmad 5
Uh, yeah, no. Have you never heard of diseases such as cataracts that can be congenital? Not being able to see at such a critical age can impact a kid's development big time. My brother and I were both born with cataracts, and he had to wear glasses by the age of 2. I didn't get glasses until I was 5, but even then I struggled with social anxiety as it was difficult to see/read people. Learning is delayed as well, because, again, ya kinda need to be able to see to catch on to things..
jds91_fml 7
my 1 year old will somehow find a pen and start writing on walls
tiggerdoc 14
And you will blink and kids are adults moving away getting married and having kids of their own...*cue music*
Bruno501 8
That is impressive