Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML
Today, I was having dinner with my husband and two toddlers. My two year-old son was being incredibly cute and independently drinking water out of an open cup. I commented on how much I loved him. Two seconds later, he threw said cup with water at my head and started laughing. FML
Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
thatonegirlnic 10
He's a reverse sour patch kid. Sweet. Sour. Gone.
chrisstanford 10
Did you punish him?! Had I done that when I was little I would get timeout and a whopping
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (141)
Zebediabolical 45
GOTTA KEEP THE PIMP HAND STRONG! It's never too early to start practicing.
jay_south 19
I've heard of the Terrible Twos, but that's just ridiculous.
AKAR2521 4
obviously you dont have kids.
olpally 33
Stewie griffin???? Lol damn, what a little shit.
Stuffaluffagus 25
Well I hope you slapped him back
Baucis 10
So you would just let the kid slap you? This is what's wrong these days. Punishment is needed to keep the behavior in line.
FracturedMinds 21
Wouldn't say smack him back. Maybe a rolled up newspaper to the ass. Doesn't hurt really, but the noise ***** with him.
cryssycakesx3 23
like a dog...
TheMathMajor 26
I'd just put him in time out and tell him to think about why what he did was wrong and don't come out until he's ready to apologies. It might take longer, but jeez the kid is two, there's no need to hit him. I don't have kids yet, but this is how my parents disciplined us, and before you say anything, it was very effective. If you want to use spanking as a way of punishment I'm not going to judge you, just saying there are ways to discipline a kid without hitting them.
yscpunkchick 14
If you put a 2 year old in time out and tell them to think about why they're in trouble, they're going to think about that train set they've been playing with or the doll they can't seem to find. Not why they're in trouble.
JMichael 26
Tough love
TheNoobySpartan 13
They don't call them the "Terrible Twos" for nothing!
weveallbeenthere 30
did he ever see daddy do that?
skipper2009 18
I hope you did something about it.
fmlxxsb 6
ya duh. daddy cried for being slapped
meatmaeta 21
You might know him...
shortunbiased 6
You better help him out before he does that to a girl!