Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my cat let a mouse sit on his paws for several minutes, then just sat and watched as it scurried into a crack in the drywall. My cat is only 4. FML
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML
Today, my cat brought home a bloody, barely-living mouse. The thing managed to escape and dragged itself into a crack in the wall, where it must have died. The only way to get it out before it starts to stink up the place is by demolishing the wall. FML
Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mikeskinner 7
Oh dear lord, sorry OP! Just make sure you get rid of all the corpses fast. Ants and such. FYL!
wyattshack 4
I think I just threw up a little
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (115)
Mikeskinner 7
Oh dear lord, sorry OP! Just make sure you get rid of all the corpses fast. Ants and such. FYL!
TheTwistedOtaku 16
I know how you feel OP my cat does this too...and she's 12. .-.
CaptainDoorknob 7
Fucketh thy life.
SenselessPattern 12
Now you have a pink sock to go with your normal socks! Wonder if anyone will understand this...probably not.
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Ohh that's just nasty!!! (Cleveland voice)
rocklare18 7
Mouse fluids. Saucy.
william8691 10
Thats going to be a pain in the ass to clean up..
ellie121 4
My puppy once threw up a dead mouse on my bunk bed. I put my hand in/on it while getting to the ladder. I was not impressed, thank god for bed sheets.
CaptainDoorknob 7
Animals do that to be nice, though. The mentality behind it is you feed them so they catch "food" for you in return.
wyattshack 4
I think I just threw up a little
docscientist 10
Kind of like squeezing an open tube of toothpaste.
Meettitan 14
44- only if your toothpaste has intestines.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Your toothpaste ISN'T suppose to have intestines? What have I been brushing my teeth with?
DrDilllonReese 12
The organ that transports shit. You may want to pay a visit to your dentist if you've been using that to brush your teeth.
gc327072 31
54- well what would you expect from a chipmunk that smokes a bowl.
ravenh1979 13
Ewwwwww!
slurshies 11
3- how imaginative
UberNova 18
Well it is better than having them running round your house, toughen up, its just....mouse guts.
graffitied_love 20
Toughen up? The guts came out of the mouse's ass. Give OP a break
agonydrum 7
In the middle of the night, all over the floor, it doesn't matter how tough you are that sucks lol
Lalo16 6
The cat knows its job well, I see.
loloalltheway 23
That is disgusting!!!! Poor you and I hope to god my cat will never do that, ever.
capper44 18
#6 just curious that can u train a cat like a dog as well or nope... :/!!!
slurshies 11
I'm no cat expert here, but cats catch small mammals because it's their instinct, and most kittens learn the taste of that meat when they're young, and so develop the skill of hunting
loloalltheway 23
#48- no, cats are very independent. They basically do what they want...
Pandacupcakelove 26
Oh, the joy of having a cat...
jeezburger12 10
Oh god, that's disturbing.
rebel_belle1974 5
Why? Cats are natural hunters. It's awesome he did it.
jeezburger12 10
I mean the fact that OP saw guts coming out of a mouse's ass.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
You have cat to be kitten me. Although the cat was trying to be mice by giving you a present, it's probably the last thing you needed right meow
therealslim 15
Stop being such a pussy and get some better puns
ant1078 7
Yeah, your puns are a catastrophe -.-
walmartpaysme 15
14 stop being such a jackass.
lovepandorasaver 11
Did you just say meow?
SenselessPattern 12
Er hey #21, I think they were going for the pun route, not the jackass one. In case you didn't cat-ch it.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Guys, that isn't very mice of you. Havent you got the guts to stop the catastrophe?
desireev 18
Lmao! Y'all are punny... It's okay, 23. I got the reference. :)
mfischer 17
Do I look like a cat to you? Am I jumping all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? Let me see your license and registration right meow!
slurshies 11
hehe nimbly-bimbly
Tragichero92 12
A catalyst for catastrophe.
awebb21 7
Trolling cat