Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was rushing to get on the train to work as I heard the "door closing" beeps. I was about to step onto the train when a man pushed me out of the way so that he could get on. My handbag fell out of my hand into the carriage. I stayed on the platform. FML
Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML
Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML
Today, at the train station a woman's baggage had gotten stuck in the ticket barriers, so I used my ticket to unlock the barriers for her but told her to wait so I could get through too. She didn't wait. And I got painfully stuck in the barriers whilst I watched my train go by. FML
Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML
Today, I left my book on the plane after I'd finished reading it. The flight attendant thought I'd forgotten it, so he chased me through the airport, past security, past customs, and past baggage claims. I didn't have the heart to tell him I left it on purpose. FML
Today, I was on the bus and a woman got on with her 3 young children. I offered her my seat so they could all sit together. When I went to get off the bus, I realized I'd left my bag underneath my old seat. When I tried to get it back the woman hit me and yelled at me for trying to steal her purse. FML
Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML
Today, I was on a tram and I noticed an older lady having trouble getting down the stairs. I immediately got up to help her, dropping my bag on the seat accidentally. As I went to get back on the tram, the doors closed. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
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Top comments
Theclarksondales 8
**** the owners life
Petronix 5
The fail is strong with you...
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Comments (116)
05559 1
Why did you steal it?
05559 1
I know she didn't, and I just wanted to piss of some people here.
05559 1
off* Sorry, typo.
Keyman1212 14
Well you're just ******* all kinds of up tonight aren't you? If you're trying to troll, try not telling us next time? It makes you look even more pathetic than you are.
xlord 27
At least he corrected himself and said sorry to the grammar nazis. He knows who he shouldn't troll on.
urdirtyolduncle 15
OP is a genius. That's the best method for stealing someone's crap that I've ever heard.
rallets 23
and the owner didnt say anything?
05559 1
11 - Haha, why are you mad if I failed at tolling? :)
Theclarksondales 8
**** the owners life
ScaughtieHolden 11
"Today, some asshole ran off the train with my suitcase, the doors closed behind him. FML"
alteregome 9
He taught us a new way to steal.
m0tl3ycru3 0
Lol what if it was full of $100 bills
That0therguy 4
Free suitcase!
gojira666 7
Put it down and just walk away. Thats hilarious
Petronix 5
The fail is strong with you...
rhysfucker 24
"Many assumptions this one makes...he cannot be trained." Apologies to Frank Oz.
truebrotrue 7
I see what you ******* did there
rhysfucker 24
Thanks to you, one of many you are...
thatonename 7
Shouldn't the last part read, trained he can not be? Just saying.
Marcella1016 32
Ha Jedi grammar Nazis for the win
ShroomsOnAcid 17
"You FORGET your suitcase"? Does that happen often?
iAmPaul 49
6 - You'll notice that OP is in France (as it clearly states at the top of the FML). That means the situation happened in French (more than likely). Hence, the OP made a little translation mistake with the past and present tense of a verb. :)
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I was thinking that too, since when I was learning to speak English, I didn't know the difference between forget and forgot for a while, so I used them interchangeably.
panthersfan728 3
6 - the op never said forget your suitcase, forgot is the correct word for that situation.
SammySteel 6
A typical case of mistaken identity, this won't suit you well.
NomOnShroomz 14
Hahaha, punny. Very punny.
HetaliaFreak 10
*puts on sunglasses* YEAAAAAAAAAH
EvilCupcake8361 9
no..just no
FreshlyCut 0
76-no,just no
TimysterGates 15
And the actual owner didn't notice that his case was gone? In that case.. FYL OP. You at least tried to do something nice.
leadman1989 16
They could have noticed and chose not to chase a possibly armed theif... or flat out psyco.
badactor009 0
There is a certain elegance in minding your own business. Everyone does not need to save the world from itself. Savvy?
Daralea 21
OP "grabbed" the suitcase and "chased" the woman. Chances are, the actual owner saw this and thought he was being robbed. Of course once the doors of the subway closed behind the OP he couldn't do a thing about it.
shemseyy 1
Return it to the owner and claim you found it, maybe you will get a reward?
unluckiestperson_fml 14
OP was seen running out with it, I doubt that'll work
MrSaxMan 0
Yea go up to him " hey i found your suitcase!" "where?" "right beside you, but ur lucky because i ran away with it and tried to give it to some lady!"
Brooks2011 5
Good luck with cops
Brooks2011 5
Good luck with the cops
PunkSk8ter 0
you should teach op the tricks you niggaa
Ecklcakes 15
I'm going to try that next time I want to steal something. "Hey, hey ma'am! You forgot your wristwatch!"
BountyBass 13
Finders keepers