Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, I found out how it feels when someone slips and falls while they have a hypodermic needle in your arm. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, my youngest son had to have stitches on his chin. He did great; I passed out. FML
Today, my great-grandfather had his arm blown off in the army and used the splintered bone to stab an enemy soldier, and got a goddamn medal for it, and yet I just watched my grown-ass son squealing like a bitch for over 10 minutes because he got a splinter in his toe. How far we’ve fallen. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
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Top comments
pinkcrayola 0
You know, he could have a problem with self harming and just be using those words with an excuse. Instead of calling him an idiot you should make sure that he's feeling okay.
JoeLouisBomber 9
Sounds like a winner
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Comments (210)
lrgenesis 19
No blood no foul!
GovernorGeneral 8
Theres your next assassin.
mavericks 6
Maybe you should shoot him, so he can feel what a bullet is like
ittybitttyme 8
He needs therapy. Sounds like self harm.
Swiftly 0
Can't tell if OPs son is trolling, or just stupid...
katyscarlett 0
I'd date him.
SPAIDZ 0
FYL
clm123455 14
Creep.
Breaker132 8
Punch him in the crotch so that he can remember what it feels like to be a man.
notsorandomguy 18
Right. Losing your manhood makes you a man. Makes sense.
elikipeki 5
Lol you're an idiot for believing that's why he did it.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Riiiiggghhtt, and you were there with him to confirm this.
amsalwajih 0
Maybe you should give him exactly how he was born in case he forgot what that feels like too
datoismyname 22
Nice kid you got there.