Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, I found out how it feels when someone slips and falls while they have a hypodermic needle in your arm. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, my youngest son had to have stitches on his chin. He did great; I passed out. FML
Today, my great-grandfather had his arm blown off in the army and used the splintered bone to stab an enemy soldier, and got a goddamn medal for it, and yet I just watched my grown-ass son squealing like a bitch for over 10 minutes because he got a splinter in his toe. How far we’ve fallen. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
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Top comments
pinkcrayola 0
You know, he could have a problem with self harming and just be using those words with an excuse. Instead of calling him an idiot you should make sure that he's feeling okay.
JoeLouisBomber 9
Sounds like a winner
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Comments (210)
curboy99 5
Yup, so is a keeper
asktherunes 4
He needs professional help
TheyCallMeDamien 18
I see leather masks with zippers in his future. But I too would suggest professional intervention.
Emcogswell 0
Sounds like he'd be awesome! Lol
ShockwaveXIII 8
Where is your son?! WHERE can I find him!? WHERE WILL WE WED!!!!
Honestly_Lainey 21
WHERE should he go to get that RESTRAINING ORDER??
vbmg152 19
You said it!!! You raised him & he IS an idiot!!!
mileyfan17 8
Dumbass
truehitman2010 0
Make sure he stays away from bows and arrows because he might forget what it fells like to take an arrow to the knee
MischievousLoki 6
I don't think he is an idiot, I think you should talk to your doctor of what's wrong with him...
linkinpark98 24
Emo?