Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, I found out how it feels when someone slips and falls while they have a hypodermic needle in your arm. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, my youngest son had to have stitches on his chin. He did great; I passed out. FML
Today, my great-grandfather had his arm blown off in the army and used the splintered bone to stab an enemy soldier, and got a goddamn medal for it, and yet I just watched my grown-ass son squealing like a bitch for over 10 minutes because he got a splinter in his toe. How far we’ve fallen. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
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Top comments
pinkcrayola 0
You know, he could have a problem with self harming and just be using those words with an excuse. Instead of calling him an idiot you should make sure that he's feeling okay.
JoeLouisBomber 9
Sounds like a winner
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Comments (210)
AntiLove187 4
Uh i think your son is depriving a village of its idiot......
AntiLove187 4
Well he's acting like one so he gets called one......
altigue 0
Wonder if he has that disease where he 'can't feel any pain' lol yea right
lunaC 2
I can relate!!
K2Phresh 1
like you said you raised him op
Chachi101 3
Today, I realized I had caught a bad case of Montezuma's Revenge after returning from a trip out of the country. Today is also the day I started my period. FML
Chachi101 3
This was an accident
tinkerbell87 2
Hahahhaha
tonic_clonic 4
It could be the early signs of schizophrenia. Believe me, I know. My brother started acting really weird around 18. Five years later and it's full blown. It could also be that he's just... um... curious? But it could be a warning sign of something lurking in his brain. Good luck with your son and his quirks, OP!
roninvamp 4
There's a sign that you shouldn't breed in the first place
gigi03 5
You must be proud