Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my 14 year-old got a 5-day suspension for fighting. He stood up for an 7th grader who was getting picked on. While the poor kid was eating lunch, they were messing with him when my son stepped in. There were some words said, then a fight. He feels terrible for fighting but I think he was in the right. FML
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Today, my six-year-old son called to say he was suspended from school for drawing some “pretty flowers.” Confused as to why that would warrant punishment, I took a look and they were swastikas. He’s inconsolable. FML
Today, I got my ass beat by some kid in my grade. The reason I was targeted? The superintendent, aka my idiot father, suspended him for defending himself in another fight. The kid told me it's not personal, he needed to prove a point that our school doesn't do shit about bullying, As much as I agree with him… FML
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Top comments
sweet_candy_ 17
He is hanging out with the wrong crowd :(
perdix 31
Don't worry, he was talking about the band. Sting really ****** over Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers when he ditched them for his self-indulgent solo career. Or maybe he was angry when they jumped the shark with "Ghost in the Machine." Either way, it wasn't really about you.
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Comments (229)
truehitman2010 0
he should have wrote **** THE PIGS
RedPillSucks 33
Ya, I'd pay to see that....
enoughgrace 4
for Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
princessjasmine2_fml 0
My uncle is a preacher, and my cousin burned down the church he presides over. This was his way of announcing he was an atheist.
RedPillSucks 33
It's the way of the world, I guess... Cops (and lawyers) children grow up to be criminals Preachers children grow up to be atheists or screw everything in sight. Carpenters kids fail shop class. Cooks kids burn the house down... Sigh. Where's Marvin.
someguy314159265 15
Actually, my parents are atheists, and so am I. Then again, I guess you could say that your statement applies to me as well in that I'm a lot more tolerant of "gross" and "wrong" things than they are, thanks to the Internet. Also, you got the lawyers' part wrong. According to your logic, lawyers' children would grow up to be good and honest citizens.
mike3775 39
When my son decided to cause damages like that, I paid for it, and bet your behind he is paying me back for the money I had to shell out.
Crystiella 0
That always solves everything.
bossybella 0
your sson is eeking attention! he prob showing you his feelings.. you a police man... he writing **** the police... shm good luck
0neiros 14
I Wonder how that sentence would look Sober or Literate.
dariuz 0
and son will never learn beat his ass so hard he will never forget.
Jizwold 0
I feel bad for people who live where cops are dueche bags cause where I live the only people the cops **** with are the ones who have a tendency to blow a load all over the law's face
stacster 0
show that boy what a tazer feels like
Jizwold 0
people that are in gangs are cowards. I can respect some of the founders and stuff of gangs but just the bottom of the pole niggers are cowards