Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my newsfeed, I noticed a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to properly shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I mistakenly took a screenshot and then proceeded to fumble my phone. It wasn't until 5 hours later when I recharged it that I realized I had unintentionally posted the screenshot of me on the toilet to Instagram. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
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Top comments
ReesesPuffs 0
*waits for somebody to say that's a shitty situation*
flockz 20
sorry but they probably don't have an app for cleaning shit stains off your phone.
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Comments (327)
sxdryv 14
Brownberry ?
ThatGuyRory 9
I moderated this! :)
hateevryone 15
ewwwwwwwwwwww i hope you cleaned it good..................the phone, i mean.
blackvyper 8
Hope it was an iPhone because they're good for that!
Daralea 21
Pfft, only an FML if someone called you right after that happened and you absentmindedly answered it.
cab227 2
Just how do you manage that?
fmlmaster44 0
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard, so fake!! I hate people like u
tekkster74 0
Puts a whole noter meaning to "crappy phone." XD
purpletigers1527 3
Wow, I think I just barfed a little in my mouth.
dayrin7 4
LMFAOOOOOOO FYL!!!