Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML
Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML
Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML
Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML
Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML
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Top comments
realworldready 0
You SOB!!! A) For crashing her car B) And this is more important, for describing those ******* cookies on FML! Asshole!!! Do I have triple-chocolate-double-mint cookies topped with Andes' mints right now? NO!!!! And now I definitely want some! YOU SUCK!!! YDI!!!
lesp 6
Wow. FHL. Were you drunk?
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Comments (171)
ohhhhshizzz 0
#68: OP: original poster/post. YDI: you deserved it. FYL: **** your life. FHL: **** his/her life. =] you're welcome. OP: How? And why would this be a horse, horses aren't on roads. Unless it is something big, like a parade or something or nother. And I highly doubt that. So this is a car, which totally sucks. :/ But F[y'all's]L
xox_what_now 0
What does op mean!!!
zee209 0
Who the hell celebrates and 2 and a half year anniversary?!
zredalert95 0
op means original poster, the person who wrote the fml. OP: i think you should come up with a better gift next time. maybe, like, a new car? and for those of you ignorant people: skinny people eat unhealthy crap every now and again. don't bash mustangs just because your stuck with a corolla, or worse yet, a prius. ugg...
sharkshaveteeth 0
That really really sucks! I hope that you are alright and that your GF isn't too upset and that the car can be easily fixed. What caused you to crash into The median is what I am wondering about though.
ithedarkknight 0
wow she souns like a sweet girlfriend... if you guys break up can i have her number i like cookies?
Books4Me 0
I wholeheartedly agree with 12. Obviously the OP feels bad about wrecking his gf's car guys!! It's not like he took it out on purpose to ruin her life or anything....
master565 0
That's not a very nice prsent
ithedarkknight 0
wow dude that sounds like a sweet girlfriend... if u guys break up can i have her number i like cookies? XD
mattiscool 0
next is the 2 years and 5/8ths anniversary?