Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML
Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML
Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML
Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML
Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML
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Top comments
realworldready 0
You SOB!!! A) For crashing her car B) And this is more important, for describing those ******* cookies on FML! Asshole!!! Do I have triple-chocolate-double-mint cookies topped with Andes' mints right now? NO!!!! And now I definitely want some! YOU SUCK!!! YDI!!!
lesp 6
Wow. FHL. Were you drunk?
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Comments (171)
whomajigi 0
Who celebrates 2 1/2 years? When you're a new couple, you can do it every week or month. After a year, stick to annually. This works well for you as you can easily claim you didn't ruin the anniversary, since there was none.
jetstream417 0
Cement Dividers are kind of hard to miss. I hope to dear god that you passed your driving tests legitimately, or that you were 100% sober. For the sake of giving you the benefit of the doubt, FYL. Maybe you were swerving to avoid an oncoming car. I don't know.
helios_rex 0
Who the hell celebrates "two-and-a-half" years? FYL indeed!
aback 5
"Darling, you shouldn't have!" Oh well. Better a car accident than a baby accident.
Lythiaren 8
Ouch. Pay for the repairs and buy her a bouquet as an apology? :s Also: pease share recipe. I want some of those cookies, they sound awesome.
whyXD 13
SURPRISE!!!!!! so was she surprised^^ oh and agree with #9.
FMLfangirl89 0
Wow, next time go to WalMart, I'm sure you can find a better gift.
The_Master 0
celebrating you 2-and-a-half-year anniversary is just as retarted as celebrating a one week or month or, 11 month. just do the annual thing, and you won't crash her car anymore...fake anniversary fail...nice
Nicolacatt 0
Wow that's FYL and YDI!
hellfirestw 0
she put her foot up youre ass?