Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML
Today, as I rushed to get my pants on, I slipped and bashed my forehead against the solid oak back board of my bed. School starts in 30 minutes and I look like I lost a boxing match horribly. FML
Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML
Today, at school, I wore a back brace because I have fractured vertebrae. During first period, a girl tapped me on the back to ask me a question. It made a "knocking on wood" sound. She looked at me like I was a freak. FML
Today, one of my idiot classmates decided it was a good idea to throw his water bottle across the room to his friend. Unfortunately, I was sitting in front of his friend. I now have a very noticeable bruise and bump near my temple along with a headache. Everybody laughed at me. Even the teacher. FML
Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
Today, I woke up in the hospital with a mild concussion, a sprained neck, and a broken shoulder. How did this happen? Earlier, I ran into the guy I used to bully all throughout school. Once his wife realized who I was, she piledrived me. FML
Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML
Today, it was time to take graduation cap and gown pics. My cap didn't fit on my head. I'd specifically requested that they make it much larger, but they didn't. When someone tried to force it onto my head, it tore apart. So now I have no graduation cap. I'm so fucking done. Only 2 weeks left. FML
Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML
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Top comments
Ch0sen 13
Wear that hickey with pride, not many can claim the accomplishment of successfully wooing that elusive fellow.
tennisrapper1 14
Hey, at least you're unique! No one else has a neck brace as awesome as you do!
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Comments (77)
loserboii 11
Or you could say you got a hickey & needed to wear a neck brace. That'd make a more interesting story.
egc573 40
Well, in a sea of caps and gowns (where basically no one in the audience is ever able to tell which graduate is theirs), you'll certainly stand out. Your family ought to have no trouble finding you. How is the weather in Jersey, btw? If it's as hot as it is in the southwest, I imagine you'll be boiling in that neck brace by the time they hand out the diplomas. Good news: no neck burn.
ManInTheMachine 20
Honestly OP, I'd rather wear the neck brace and tell them what happened, than leave it and explain how you fit a dick the size of a corn stalk inside you. Have a happy graduation though! Be glad you survived the 'senioritis' epidemic. :)
Nutty4Muffs 3
Whoa what? Corn stalk?
HerrBawl 4
From OP's mention of the Jolly Green Giant.
florencesummer 0
Woah. Thats a nice welcome into adulthood. Pretty hardhitting if you ask me. Sorry OP thats scarring.
yellowpuppies 5
Look in the bright side u have a memory for a life time
angela3825 1
Well at least you have a good story to tell!
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Ahh high school. The source of every one of my embarrising stories/ injuries.
HerrBawl 4
Except the one where you indelibly marked the fact that you misspelled the word embarrassing onto the "interwebs".
ilovesuju 10
#35-i bet it took you a long time trying to make that comment sound smart.
Jorcar 8
That sounds like a pain in the neck. Literally!
byrdman30 0
Love it
reddudeover 2
You should emBRACE this. Your... oh who the hell am I kidding I'm no doc I'm a FRAUD!! *runs away screaming please forgive me.