Today, as I rushed to get my pants on, I slipped and bashed my forehead against the solid oak back board of my bed. School starts in 30 minutes and I look like I lost a boxing match horribly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML
Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML
Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML
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Top comments
Jeremy Phillips 18
Hope you’re oaky.
TheBigSneeze 22
oh he will be fine, he'll just need to log that in.
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Comments (9)
Jeremy Phillips 18
Hope you’re oaky.
TheBigSneeze 22
oh he will be fine, he'll just need to log that in.
Jeremy Phillips 18
**** that was beautiful
Yudith 28
Take a selfie. You will need it when you come back from your doctor's appointment to get the stitches you obviously need and the dimwit forgets to give you your doctor's note.
RichardPencil 32
Tell everyone your boyfriend did that to you, and enjoy all the sympathy swag.
rodfergie 18
Tell everyone that you had a Shadow Boxing class earlier. Let them know how serious you are about your studies!
BurnInDemonFire 39
"Oh this, it's nothing. You should see what I did to him!"
TheSminty1 17
In my day we called that a good excuse to stay home and our parents called it a Stop Being a Sissy, Walk It Off.