Today, it's the third day in a row that my classmate next to me has brought green bean casserole to eat in class. The last two days I could hold back my vomit, but today I couldn't. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML
Today, the first day of school, I threw up on my teacher in the middle of class. FML
Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML
Today, I've managed to go my whole nine-year teaching career without anyone vomiting in my classroom. That record was broken today when someone vomited four successive times in front of a class of 46 students. It was me. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
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Top comments
Justin Allan Bannister 9
stop being a whimp
infinitemonkey 21
So all this poor kid can afford to eat is the same leftovers for days, and your privileged ass is annoyed because you don’t like the smell? Maybe you should offer to buy him lunch.
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Comments (15)
wtfdaemon 3
What a ******* sniveling pussy you are. "Couldn't hold back my vomit" - get some balls, chump.
KingAdrock 16
Why DO people eat that shit?